Amoris Laetitia meeting, October 10: prelates discuss the first years of marriage

October 12, 2026

On October 10—the third full day of the weeklong extraordinary Vatican meeting devoted to Amoris Laetitia—the presidents of the world’s episcopal conferences and the heads of the Eastern Catholic churches discussed the third of the meeting’s five themes: “married life, the first years of marriage: a decisive time Listening to and accompanying couples in the early years of married life and at every stage of life.”

In announcing this theme, the framework released by the General Secretariat of the Synod in July asked the prelates to discuss several questions:

What forms of accompaniment are most effective in supporting couples, particularly during the first years of married life? How can relationships of closeness among families, experiences of mutual support, and concrete forms of co-responsibility within the ecclesial community be fostered? How can spouses be helped to recognize and develop their relational, spiritual, generative and parental resources? Which experiences demonstrate the fruitfulness of networks of families capable of supporting one another and, in turn, becoming a source of accompaniment and witness for others?

Amid the confidential discussions, the Vatican published three addresses delivered on October 10:

• a brief introduction to the theme of the day by Cardinal Kevin Farrell, prefect of the Dicastery for the Laity, the Family and Life
• a talk by Cardinal José Cobo Cano of Madrid, Spain
• a talk by Dr. María Marcela Mazzini, vice dean of the faculty of theology of the Pontifical Catholic University of Argentina
• a talk by Cardinal Mario Grech, Secretary General of the General Secretariat of the Synod

Cardinal Farrell: Listen to young married couples

“Considerable pastoral efforts have been made to enrich preparation for marriage, drawing on the experience of married couples and offering engaged couples opportunities to experience fraternity and prayer within the Christian community,” said Cardinal Farrell. “Yet we see that this is not always enough to help newly married couples understand and deepen the conjugal love that is taking shape within them during the first years of marriage, or to face the difficulties that may arise with the birth of children or as they come to know one another more deeply.”

“We also see that a period of cohabitation before marriage does not necessarily make couples better prepared to face such difficulties,” he observed.

“The Church’s pastoral conversion therefore calls us to listen closely to the experience of young married couples: to how they speak about what they are learning together, or about what prevents them from learning and growing; the resources they discover in the sacrament of marriage; what they expect from Christian communities; and how they understand their own missionary responsibility,” he added.

Cardinal Cobo: Help married couples grow into mentors of other married couples

Cardinal Cobo’s address had three sections:

• Challenges to be addressed from a pastoral perspective
• The questions arising at each stage
• The community as a cornerstone

In the second section, Cardinal Cobo raised a series of questions:

• What should we develop in order to move, as a community, from a pastoral approach centered on specific moments—focused particularly on preparation for the sacrament—to a pastoral approach capable of accompanying processes that span a whole lifetime?
• How can we accompany the transition from a faith lived as a couple to a faith lived as a family?
• How can [we] help married couples to seek help to nurture their relationship without waiting until they reach breaking point?

In the final section of his talk, Cardinal Cobo spoke of the importance of “married couples accompanying other married couples, not as experts, but drawing on their personal lived experience that is also discerned and shared.”

He added:

How can we make sure that the experience of some married couples becomes a source of memory, witness and support for others? How can we help those who have been accompanied to turn into accompanying guides themselves? ... How can our Church accompany the entire journey of married couples, from the moment discernment begins until that married couples themselves become companions and witnesses for others?

Dr. Mazzini: In marriage, the ‘we’ develops

Professor Mazzini’s talk was entitled “Mystagogy of the sacramental bond: Learning the spiritual craft of being spouses.” It had four sections:

• Reality speaks
• The conjugal ‘we’: gift and task
• The bond as a theological space
• Accompanying the bond and learning from families

Throughout her talk, Dr. Mazzini discussed the ways in which the “we” coalesces in the marriage bond. She concluded:

At its very core, sacramental marriage can be understood in this way: two types of freedom which, supported by the faithfulness of Jesus Christ, turn their mutual acceptance into the visible sign of a greater Love. This is also a message for the Church and for the world: unity does not mean abolishing differences; belonging does not mean possessing; caring does not mean dominating; and faithfulness enables us to navigate transformations without abandoning the covenant.

Cardinal Grech: Accompany families distant from the Church

At the introduction of the 4:00-6:30 PM plenary session, Cardinal Grech said that “having listened attentively to the summaries of the collective contributions, we now enter another important phase of our journey: that of open interventions.”

“Naturally, our thoughts turn first to those families in which the spouses have chosen Christian marriage as an authentic vocation of faith,” he said. “However, from a genuinely missionary perspective, our gaze cannot stop at those who already live fully within the ecclesial community. Other families, too, often distant from religious practice or lacking an explicit connection to the faith, are the objects of God’s love and the Church’s evangelizing mission.”

Cardinal Grech explained:

Perhaps we should ask ourselves with greater courage how to walk alongside those family situations that may not yet fully know the wellsprings of grace flowing from the sacraments, but which, on their human journey, have discovered some stream, some well, or some unexpected vein of living water from which to draw authentic values, mutual love, dedication, and so forth. God’s grace is already at work within them, sometimes in hidden and surprising ways ...

Perhaps we, too, have been amazed to discover God’s discreet yet real presence in places where, at first glance, only fragility, disorder, or distance from ecclesial life seemed to reign. Yet the Lord often goes before us, sowing far beyond our boundaries and making Himself present in the most unexpected places. I would therefore like to invite everyone to recount the signs of hope they have recognized along the way: those moments when we glimpsed the action of the Holy Spirit at work in individuals and families whom we might not have immediately considered as protagonists of a journey of faith.

The prelate concluded, “We certainly cannot find solutions here that suit every culture, but together we can discern guidelines that deepen our way of viewing the world through the Lord’s eyes, guidelines that enable us to respond to challenges—both collectively and in our respective contexts—and to be a Church capable not only of nurturing those already close to us but also of recognizing, accompanying, and valuing the seeds of the Kingdom that God continues to make sprout everywhere.”

 

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Further information:

• Cardinal Farrell: Introduction to the theme of the day (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/10/26)
• Cardinal Cobo's talk (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/10/26)
• Professor Mazzini's talk (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/10/26)
• Cardinal Grech's talk (Italian) (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/10/26)