Amoris Laetitia meeting, October 9: prelates discuss young people and the discovery of the vocation to marriage

October 10, 2026

On October 9—the second full day of the weeklong extraordinary Vatican meeting devoted to Amoris Laetitia—the presidents of the world’s episcopal conferences and the heads of the Eastern Catholic churches discussed the second of the meeting’s five themes: “young people and the discovery of the vocation to marriage: listening to young people and accompanying them in discovering the value of marriage.”

In announcing this theme, the framework released by the General Secretariat of the Synod in July asked the prelates to discuss several questions:

What language, experiences, and educational and spiritual pathways help children, adolescents and young people today to recognize the value of marriage? What witness can couples and families offer? How can they contribute to accompanying young people in their emotional, relational and sexual growth?

What steps of pastoral attentiveness and conversion can help the Church accompany cohabiting couples in discerning their affective and family journey, as they mature in their choice of marriage and openness to welcoming children?

Amid the confidential discussions, the Vatican published three addresses delivered on October 9:

• a brief introduction to the theme of the day by Cardinal Kevin Farrell, prefect of the Dicastery for the Laity, the Family and Life
• a talk by Archbishop Timothy Costelloe, S.D.B., of Perth, Australia
• a talk by Auxiliary Bishop Stephen Fernandes of Bombay (Mumbai), India

Cardinal Farrell’s introduction

“We cannot ignore the fact that the number of marriages is currently declining throughout the world, both civil marriages and marriages celebrated in the Church,” Cardinal Farrell said in his brief introduction. “We will seek to interpret this phenomenon, taking into account whether its causes are the same everywhere.”

Concern over the decline of marriage “is felt first and foremost by the many Christian parents whose children suffer from loneliness, remain hesitant to make a lasting commitment, or categorically reject the path that their parents themselves had embraced with joy,” Cardinal Farrell continued. “There are, of course, many factors to consider: the number of divorces, the variety of forms of life as a couple, and the influence of prevailing cultural trends.”

He added:

But at a deeper level, we might ask whether God has perhaps ceased to speak to the hearts of young people, stirring in them a desire for marriage. We will look for signs of hope and consider the spaces, initiatives, people or events that can open up new paths towards marriage.

We will also consider how attentive our communities are to the witness of those who, despite everything, choose marriage—whether early in life or later on—and how their experience can help us understand and present the vocation to marriage more effectively.

Archbishop Costelloe: Present the Church’s teaching as an ‘ideal,’ rather than as ‘rules and regulations’

In his talk, Archbishop Costelloe said that “the Church’s high theology of marital intimacy” should be presented “in a positive rather than a negative way: as an ideal worth striving for rather than as a list of rules and regulations to be followed.”

“Presenting ideals to work towards rather than rules to follow is more likely to win people over and enable them to see the values which underpin those rules and regulations,” Archbishop Costelloe continued. “It also underpins the idea of accompaniment and the recognition that each person is on a journey of life and faith.”

He added:

Catholicism has always sought to hold together in creative tension fidelity to our ideals and respect for those who struggle to live up to those ideals or who, at certain stages in their lives, find the ideals unrealistic or unconvincing. By basing the Church’s ministry and pastoral practice on relationships of love, compassion and patience, and by committing ourselves to the challenging journey of respectful accompaniment, we will be planting seeds which others will harvest. While this is sound pastoral common sense for everyone, it is especially well-suited to the young.

Archbishop Costelloe cautioned that “to speak of ‘young people’ carries the risk of treating them as a uniform sociological grouping rather than as individual people who, while they may have many things in common, are also unique individuals with their own stories, experiences, and unique personalities.”

“Because of this diversity there will not be easy answers or simple institutional solutions: particular programs, renewed catechetical resources, revitalized parish youth groups, and so on,” he said. “These are important but there is something more fundamental to consider: it is a question of culture.”

The prelate explained, “A synodal culture is a culture of engagement and accompaniment: we must meet them where they are, enter into relationships of respect, listening and acceptance, and walk with them as they mature.”

He added:

Because so many marriages end in divorce and so many other relationships also end up falling apart, many young people doubt whether life-long commitment is possible or even desirable. In this context the witness of stable married couples and families is a powerful tool. As one married couple explained to me, “the most persuasive argument for Christian marriage is often a married couple living it well.”

If local parish communities can discover ways in which the witness of married couples and families can be both visible and celebrated, the fear of commitment and doubts about permanence which trouble many young people might be mitigated to some extent.

Bishop Fernandes: Don’t lower the beauty of the Christian vocation

At the conclusion of his lengthier talk, Bishop Fernandes said that “this is where the Church’s mission begins: not by lowering the beauty of the Christian vocation, but by making that beauty credible through the lives of those who have discovered, with grace, that a free and faithful love is still possible.”

The prelate’s address had six sections:

• How Young People Experience Love Today
• How Young People Envision Their Future
• Helping Young People Discover Marriage as a Vocation
• Listening Changes How We Present Marriage
• Accompanying Cohabiting Couples Towards the Fullness of Marriage
• One Gospel, Many Contexts

“The vocation to Christian marriage is universal, but the circumstances in which young people discover it are profoundly diverse,” Bishop Fernandes said in the last section of his address. “In some societies, individualism, cohabitation and declining confidence in institutions may be major challenges. In others, parental expectations, economic pressures, migration, dowry practices or social inequalities can shape the decision to marry. In situations of war, persecution, displacement or poverty, the possibility of establishing a stable family itself may be threatened.”

As he concluded his talk, the prelate added:

Above all, young people need to encounter marriages and families in which the Gospel is visibly lived. They need witnesses who can say, not simply, “Marriage is beautiful,” but, “We have experienced its difficulties, we have known failure and forgiveness, sacrifice and joy, and we have discovered that love can endure.”

The human heart has not ceased to thirst for love. What has weakened is often confidence that love can endure.

Press briefing: announcement of members of report committee

The seven speakers at the first press briefing (video) of the October 7-14 assembly discussed a variety of topics, including migration, the digital revolution, accompaniment, and the pressures that families faced.

The press briefing also saw the announcement of the 11-member committee whose members are responsible for the revision of the assembly’s final synthesis report before its publication:

• Cardinal Kevin Joseph Farrell, prefect of the Dicastery for the Laity, Family and Life (president of the committee)
• Cardinal Mario Grech, Secretary General of the General Secretariat of the Synod
• Cardinal Pablo Virgilio David of Kalookan, Philippines
• Cardinal Anthony Poola, president of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of India
• Cardinal Matteo Maria Zuppi, president of the Italian Episcopal Conference.
• Archbishop José Manuel Imbamba, president of the Episcopal Conference of Angola and São Tomé
• Msgr. Philippe Bordeyne, president of the Pontifical John Paul II Theological Institute for Marriage and Family Sciences
• Father Giacomo Costa, S.J., consultor of the General Secretariat of the Synod, and the official responsible for the meeting’s methodology
• Gabriella Gambino, undersecretary of the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life
• Audrey Boucher (Canada), diocesan pastoral coordinator for the Diocese of Sainte-Anne-de-la-Pocatière in Quebec
• Orietta Rachele Grazioli, canon law instructor at the Pontifical John Paul II Theological Institute

Some of the committee members are among the ex officio members of the assembly; others are among those invited by the Pope.

At a pre-assembly press conference last week, Father Costa said that the synthesis report “is not a new Final Document replacing the Apostolic Exhortation [Amoris Laetitia], but a summary of what the Assembly has recognized through listening and discernment.”

“The summary report, whilst being a working document, will also be made public,” he explained. “In any case, the work will not end with the report. The Presidents will be able to take what has emerged back to their respective Episcopal Conferences and, together with them, promote the appropriate steps in the various contexts.”

 

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Further information:

• Cardinal Farrell: Introduction to the theme of the day (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/9/26)
• Archbishop Costelloe's address (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/9/26)
• Bishop Fernandes's address (AmorisLaetitia.va, 10/9/26)
• Amid the challenges of the modern world, Amoris laetitia remains a work in progress (Vatican News, 10/9/26)
• Vatican names committee for ‘Amoris’ meeting report (The Pillar, 10/9/26)