The Minneapolis Creed

By Fr. Wilson (articles ) | Aug 08, 2003

There are lots of things I love about Anglicans, but the one thing I'd never do without is their humor. -FrW ---------------------------------

Subject: THE MINNEAPOLIS CREED by Eric Zolner


As with all the major councils of the church, this one needs its own creed.

By Eric Zolner

We believe in Justice Mother, the all inclusive Maker of good self esteem And in Jesus The only name we recognize from the Bible He was conceived in an alternative committed relationship And became person He was crucified, died, and was buried On the third day his ideals were raised in the minds of his friends He "Ascended" into "Heaven" and sits there with the heavenly Parent But since there is no judgment, he shan't be back We believe in the Holy Spirit, Sophia She serves as a great rationale for whatever we want to do With the Parent and the Child she is used for furthering our agenda We believe in one church, as long as it agrees with us One baptism for the extinction of sins We look for the conversion of those less enlightened And a life of full inclusion of all who agree with us


The Rev. Eric Zolner, a third generation Episcopalian, at age 30 is the youngest Episcopal priest in the diocese of Colorado.  He is the Associate Rector of Youth and Young Adults at Grace Episcopal Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

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  • Posted by: - Aug. 12, 2003 3:25 PM ET USA

    Precisely! Regards, Zosima

  • Posted by: - Aug. 11, 2003 5:41 PM ET USA

    Zosima, You did recognize that the prayer is a parody of the liberal think, right? Sometimes the best parody is that which you can't whether it is or not.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 11, 2003 5:12 PM ET USA

    And then one day the inclusive, enlightened, gay pastor dies, waiting to enter heaven unconditionally, without judgment, embraced by the benevolent deity. But to his bitter surprise the pastor finds himself in a dark place, a place of terror and pain, and then all will be clear; the Sophia spirit was not the Holy Spirit, but the spirit of the present age, a spirit of deception and lies. And the all accepting deity was not the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, but was rather the prince of this world, who lied to him but who will indeed accept him into eternal damnation. And worse of all, he finds that there was sin after all and that he never came around to repent or to amend his life, and that therefore he is here in this hell because his own choosing. And for his everlasting torment, he will find that all he had to do was to accept the blood of the lamb, and to believe in His resurrection as the only Son of God, begotten of a virgin, true light from true light. Poor deceived soul