free to be me (re-posting)

By Diogenes (articles ) | Jul 31, 2006

(This comment originally appeared in OTR just over a year ago, but in light of the ceremony scheduled in Pittsburgh today, it seems equally relevant. - Ed.)

A Boston-area innkeeper has declared her intention to be ordained a Catholic priest today in a privately arranged service conducted by apostate women. She is unembarrassed by the act of claiming for herself the authority that the Church invests in the Sacrament of Holy Orders, while denying the Church's authority to teach what is and is not valid matter for the same Sacrament.

Marie David, who opposes mandatory celibacy for priests and is married to a former priest, shrugs off the possibility of being excommunicated by the church, saying 'there would be a sadness, but I refuse to recognize their authority to tell me that."


Your Uncle Diogenes, coincidentally, begs to announce that he will shortly accede to the title of the Duke of Devonshire. It's true, I confess, that neither my father nor any other male antecedent ever held the title, but it's always been my deeply held personal belief that real nobility has less to do with parentage than with attitude.

I fully expect the House of Lords to throw me out on my ear when I attempt to take my seat among other members of the peerage. There will be a sadness, but I refuse to recognize their authority to tell me who I am.

It must be understood that I reject the whole idea of hereditary succession on which the traditional peerage is based. Consider: who gave these people the titles in the first place, and by what right do they decide who may and may not inherit them?

Some of my more conservative acquaintances have tried to dissuade me from my purpose. Kind hearts are more than coronets, my mother says, and ermine can be hell in the hot weather. But I pay her no attention. She's just a commoner, poor thing.

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Show 11 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: Italiana - Aug. 02, 2006 6:51 PM ET USA

    We can go fox-hunting again, then, when you're the Duke, right?

  • Posted by: JARay - Jul. 31, 2006 11:30 PM ET USA

    Well Diogenes. As the new DuKe of Devonshire you have large land holdings in Yorkshire! Amongst them you own Bolton Abbey which was destroyed by Henry's men but part of the church still stands and is used by the Church of England as a church. Perhaps you can evict them and restore it to its rightful owners! The site is very picturesque with the River Wharfe flowing close by. It is much frequented by tourists, picnickers and the like. Think of your opportunities to evangelise!

  • Posted by: Italiana - Jul. 31, 2006 10:33 PM ET USA

    Wasn't Lucifer also a "free to be me' sort of angel? Look what happened as a result. I don't want to be free of God's will. I have a hard enough time accessorizing. So making theological decisions about my own papal statements is something I'm happy to give up to the actual Pope. I can now lead a happier and FREE life by being obedient to the Church's teachings. I'm thankful I don't have to figure anything out because someone smarter than I am already did that.

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 8:45 PM ET USA

    digenes, you tell them, I love reading your comments. and 98% of the time I agree with you. keep up the good work. You got it going for us. women ordaining priest in pa. just looking for her 2 minutes of fame.

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 8:12 PM ET USA

    Uncle Di, Your bit calls to mind the "Hell's Grannies" skit from Monty Python's Flying Circus.

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 5:01 PM ET USA

    An attitude adjustment for Digenes? That would truly be a miracle. AMDG

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 3:53 PM ET USA

    Naughty, Sisyphus

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 12:35 PM ET USA

    "I shall not serve!" Now who's motto is that?

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 12:29 PM ET USA

    I have been considering the theme developing in the choice of sites for these "ordinations". Having selected the Danube, the St. Lawrence Seaway, Lake Constance, and now the Three Rivers in Pittsburgh (presumably the event will occur on only one of the three rivers, but we want to avoid exclusionary language), I notice the potencies that be are assiduously avoiding a particular major waterway in South America which could lend a rich significance to the ceremonies.

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 12:00 PM ET USA

    There is an appropriate answer to this:

  • Posted by: - Jul. 31, 2006 9:00 AM ET USA

    I think I'll be a pony.