Our bunnies, ourselves

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Dec 17, 2003

Enlightened social action in Boston:

Animal rights advocates will single out small children at performances of "The Nutcracker" in the next few weeks by handing out fliers saying "Your Mommy Kills Animals" to youngsters whose mothers are wearing fur.

"Children can't look up to a mom in a battered-raccoon hat or a crushed coyote collar," said Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. "Maybe when they're confronted by their own children's hurt looks, fur-wearers' cold hearts will melt."

The fliers include a color drawing of a woman plunging a large bloody knife into the belly of a terrified rabbit. The fliers urge kids to "ask your mommy how many dead animals she killed to make her fur clothes.

"And the sooner she stops wearing fur, the sooner the animals will be safe. Until then, keep your doggie or kitty friends away from mommy -- she's an animal killer."

Boston's logically astute kindergarteners will tender the rejoinder that mommy killed no dead animals because ex hypothesi a dead animal can't be put to death. Some may be prompted by PETA to float questions of their own:

Will the police enforce an 18-foot buffer zone around the auditorium entrance and a 6-foot buffer zone around the ballet-goers in which no literature may be distributed?

Will RICO indictments be handed down against violators?

Will the ACLU keep silent on the grounds that it's a private decision between a woman and her furrier?