Sign of the times

By ( articles ) | Aug 12, 2004

You know that it's time to hire a lawyer when you're told you should expect to hear from:

1. a federal grand jury, which has already questioned several well-known drug dealers from your neighborhood;
2. a litigious neighbor, who thinks your new fence crosses his property;
3. the police chief, who has eyewitness reports that someone who looks a lot like you just robbed the convenience store on Elm Street;
4. a long-lost 4th cousin, who wants a share of the proceeds from the sale of your grandmother's home;
5. your bishop, who's trying to figure out how to pay the tab run up by the child-molesters in the diocesan clergy.

If you're a pastor in Tucson, Arizona, the advice from your bishop is to choose #5-- without prejudice to the other possibilities, naturally.