and here's another thing to worry about

By Diogenes (articles ) | Feb 10, 2006

In a report that would have gladdened the heart of W.C. Fields, environmentalists now say that the consumption of bottled water is putting undue strain on Mother Earth.

While anxiously wondering what we'll hear next-- is Mom's applie pie carcinogenic? does outdoor exercise cause kidney failure-- I think I'll just double-check to make sure the latest research was not done by a scientist named Jack Daniels.

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  • Posted by: - Feb. 14, 2006 9:56 PM ET USA

    What about the environmental catastrophe from discarded condoms?

  • Posted by: - Feb. 14, 2006 11:48 AM ET USA

    Cupertino, I can just picture you standing in line waiting to get a drink of Jack Daniels. You are waiting in line where there are 100,000 people. Do you think you will ever get a drink? How much do you think will be spilled out onto the ground and wasted? With all our events, where the attendance can be as large as 4 million + (Pope's events), thank God for plastic bottled water. Plastic is excellent for safety, especially for children. Oh, I forgot the enviros are only interested in "earth".

  • Posted by: Cupertino - Feb. 11, 2006 4:48 PM ET USA

    The enviros are not crazy on this one. Astronomical amounts of plastic are left over after people drink water that is available free. If they want to pay for what is free, we can't stop them. But energy is expended to produce the bottles. They are virtually indestructible imposing huge clean up costs for us to pay. Jack Daniels is not free and it comes in glass which can be reused. If JD came out of the tap, free, I'd be against bottling it in plastic by the way. Especially in plastic!

  • Posted by: - Feb. 11, 2006 12:10 PM ET USA

    Ice age, global warming? either way i think i can survive - cutty sark neat or mulled wine. Here's to all their dire predictions. (humor is good once in a while, boys; keeps you young!)

  • Posted by: Bernadone - Feb. 10, 2006 8:06 PM ET USA

    I wonder where we will bury the Cracked Pot and all of the empty bottles (most probably made from petroleum by-products)?

  • Posted by: SentimentalGent - Feb. 10, 2006 7:32 PM ET USA

    That's it! I'm finally convinced. I'm going back to hard liquor exclusively..without the chaser!

  • Posted by: - Feb. 10, 2006 6:44 PM ET USA

    But it's the environmentalists that drink bottled water! Liberals started water drinking back in the '30s. Personally, I think it's a ploy by dentists. People no longer drink water with flouride-unless they buy bottled water with flouride in it. As a result, people get more cavaties & dentists make more money.

  • Posted by: Gil125 - Feb. 10, 2006 6:33 PM ET USA

    Not to worry, altar boy. The rumbling comes from those on whom Montezuma takes his revenge.

  • Posted by: - Feb. 10, 2006 6:31 PM ET USA

    Well you know, many environmentalists (is there a definition of that term) now say that global warming will very likely cause.... drum roll please........... A NEW ICE AGE! So there it is folks.... the world will either get warmer or colder and it will be America's fault either way! Why does anybody listen to these people? Has Paul Ehrlich ever made one prediction that has ever come true? No

  • Posted by: - Feb. 10, 2006 6:22 PM ET USA

    I love Catholics! We aren't afraid to have a little wine "for thy stomach's sake!" :-) And I love Diogenes and CWN!!

  • Posted by: Eleazar - Feb. 10, 2006 3:37 PM ET USA

    Altar Boy: Bring it to the Rumble!

  • Posted by: - Feb. 10, 2006 2:17 PM ET USA

    I’m familiar with this research, Di. It was actually conducted by two fellas named Ernesto and Julio. "Montezuma's revenge," Gil? Did you know that the Aztec culture prohibits any written depiction of that great secular and religious leader's name? Here's hoping your offensive comment doesn't spark violence and mayhem south of the border.

  • Posted by: Gil125 - Feb. 10, 2006 1:31 PM ET USA

    Actually, I think this makes a lot of sense. While it is reasonable enough for Norteamericanos to drink bottled water when in Mexico to avoid Montezuma's revenge, for people (like certain fruit of my loins) to drink bottled water when what flows from the tap comes from the Hetch Hetchy Reservoir and is some of the purest in the world strikes me as ludicrous. (I believe this is the second, maybe the third time I have disagreed with you, Diogenes.)

  • Posted by: - Feb. 10, 2006 11:29 AM ET USA

    With all due respect, I do not think that Jack Daniels could produce this kind of a report. It is true that Jack Daniels may have helped, over the years, to come up with some of this kind of "junk science". However, I really think this report and many others, in recent years, is the research done by a scientist named Crack Pot.