Action Alert!

in case of emergency, follow liturgical directives

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Jul 06, 2006

Just in case a bird-flu epidemic hits New Zealand, priests are receiving instructions on how to protect the faithful from contagion.

Practices effective immediately include priests using only chalices and bowls made of precious metals for the distribution of holy communion. "Research has shown that metal chalices are less likely to contribute to the spread of diseases," church bird flu epidemic protocols state.

Research has also shown that chalices made from precious metals are required by Church liturgical norms. If you're really desperate, take them seriously.


For extra credit: Take these six words-- all of them nouns (at least sometimes)-- and form them into a sentence which can appear without punctuation in a daily newspaper:
bird
epidemic
state
flu
protocols
church

Sound Off! CatholicCulture.org supporters weigh in.

All comments are moderated. To lighten our editing burden, only current donors are allowed to Sound Off. If you are a donor, log in to see the comment form; otherwise please support our work, and Sound Off!

Show 4 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: - Feb. 04, 2011 3:49 PM ET USA

    Put your faith in God not man....of any surname!

  • Posted by: michaelwilmes - Jan. 06, 2011 9:27 PM ET USA

    I'm saving my bottle for when both Cardinal Mahoney and Bishop Hubbard are formally retired and there-by no longer causing indigestion for faithful Catholics in the United States.

  • Posted by: - Jan. 05, 2011 8:44 PM ET USA

    No champagne, I tried it once, didn't like it. Got part of a wine bottle still though. Like some?

  • Posted by: Gil125 - Jan. 05, 2011 4:36 PM ET USA

    No, we're all out. Drank the last bottle a few days ago when we realized that today would be the first since 1946 when no Kennedy was in Congress.