Curses! Foiled again!

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Oct 12, 2003

Agatha Christie's Mousetrap had a run of -- what? -- ten thousand or so West End performances, and one of the Anglican churches is replaying the much loved Quench Not the Spirit farce. This time the scene is Australia, and the issue is women bishops. The villain is played by the Anglican Diocese of Sydney, which twists its arch-conservative mustaches and cackles drily. Tied to the railroad line is the heroine, the sweet, dewy-eyed Diocese of Melbourne, who provoked the ire of Sydney by unilaterally opening episcopal candidacy to women. Will she be saved?

The Reverend Charles Sherlock, who put the motion before the Melbourne Synod, hopes it will have enough support throughout the country to be passed at the national synod. "We really do believe that God doesn't want barriers of gender in the priesthood," he said. ... "I really do think for a whole lot of reasons based in the Bible, theology and a whole lot of other things that it is right that all orders of ministry to be open to men and women," he said.

"For a whole lot of reasons based in the Bible, theology and a whole lot of other things." Who can argue with that? Well, we've all seen the play before, so we all know the arguments are ultimately beside the point. The Locomotive of History has long passed that point in the track, and Miss Melbourne's squeals inspire more amusement than fear for her safety. The only suspense concerns what earrings and accessories she'll choose for her consecration. The progressives will win, the conservatives will snarl and slink off the stage, the audience will dab its eyes with a hanky and go home to watch football.

Meanwhile, bound and gagged on the Ballarat Line is the gay archdeacon of Geelong...