Personal Approach to the Scrupulous

by Richard Vaughan, S.J., Ph.D.

The purpose of the present article is to offer some insight into the personality of the scrupulous penitent. Its aim is to give an understanding of what makes the scrupulous person "tick." What is he like? How does he differ from the run-of-the-mill penitent? What is behind his unusual condition?

There are no two penitents who are exactly alike. Each has his own distinct personality, the product of many factors. When an individual is born, he inherits from his parents a physiological foundation for future personality. As he develops, many environmental factors, such as parental attitudes, brother and sister relationships, and the socio-economic level of the neighborhood in which he lives, alter the foundation and go toward the building of a personality which is different from that of any other individual. Moreover, correspondence to grace and the use of free will further influence the final product that is called "the adult personality."

All these above-mentioned components make the penitent what he is at the moment he steps into the confessional. He is different from any other penitent whose confession the priest has previously heard. True, in so far as the sins confessed are concerned, the confessions of two penitents may sound very similar, but the individual penitent's reaction to what he is confessing is unique. Each penitent views his sins in the light of past experiences which have molded his attitudes in a very distinct manner. Counseling, therefore, in the confessional, if it is to be effective, cannot consist merely in the rigid application of techniques and rules which have been previously learned in the seminary or obtained from more recent reading. People cannot be pigeonholed, and then a prelearned tit-bit of advice administered to each. If the confessor is truly going to reach his penitent, there is a need for an understanding of this particular penitent as a person, in so far as this can be accomplished within the structure of the sacrament of Penance.

It is obvious that in the case of the run-of-the-mill penitent who does not bother to have a regular confessor any deep understanding is extremely difficult. However, for the special penitent, such as the scrupulous person who has a regular confessor, understanding of this penitent as a person is not only possible but imperative, if any alleviation of the condition is to be expected. In all probability, numerous confessors are hopelessly at a loss in counseling their scrupulous penitents simply because they have never looked upon them as individuals. Rather they have been content to apply routinely the age-old remedies offered by the moral theology books for such a condition. What is more, their application of these suggested techniques has been as rigid as is the scrupulous penitent's clinging to his warped code of morality.

Understanding and Empathy

A good confessor is, in a sense, an artist. It is true that he must he skilled in the science of moral theology, but this knowledge alone will never make him a truly great confessor. If one stops to analyze the substance of this art, it becomes quite apparent that, although much of the artistry is intangible, still a good part of it consists in understanding and empathy. These two components frequently make the difference between the average confessor and the confessor who is sought out by hundreds throughout a city. By understanding is meant the ability to see behind the words and actions of others. The understanding confessor knows what the fumbling words of the penitent signify. He knows what the penitent is really trying to say, what is bothering him, and thus what is keeping him from leading a life closer to God. By the second component, empathy, is meant an ability to experience the penitent's emotions along with him — at least to a degree. Thus, the good confessor knows the extent and quality of the penitent's sorrow without going into a detailed investigation. He unconsciously picks this up from the penitent's words and the way he speaks these words. Any advice that he gives fits this deeper knowledge that he experiences. However, if you should ask him just how he knows the exact nature of this particular person's sorrow for his past offenses, he will probably be unable to tell you.

Much of this insight is the product of that intangible something that is called art. Certain people simply seem to have this gift. However, there are aspects of it that can be developed and learned. In our daily contacts with others we frequently look behind the meanings of words and actions. We do not accept at face value everything that is said and done. Thus, for example, a companion speaks a few favorable words about a mutual friend, but then immediately changes the subject. Automatically we begin to wonder if something has come between these two people, especially if we detect an inflection in the voice that seems to indicate uncomfortableness.

Feeling with the Penitent

In addition to this being aware of deeper meanings behind words, we are influenced by the emotions of those with whom we deal, and these give us a deeper understanding of people. When a companion is cheerful and pleasant, we tend to feel the same way ourselves and treat him accordingly, but let him become disagreeable and unpleasant and our whole attitude toward him changes. These same experiences are going on within the confessional. The priest unconsciously reacts to the emotional tone of his penitent. If he is a good confessor, he is keenly aware of these reactions within himself and his penitent, and utilizes them to the utmost in his dealings with the penitent.

The question then arises as to how one can become more aware of this interplay of emotions between people. One way is to make an effort to become conscious of these feelings we pick up from others. Applying this to the confessional, it would simply mean that the confessor notices how people tell their sins and how they seem to feel as they are confessing their sins. In this manner he comes to an understanding of how the penitent views his sinful actions and how he feels about them. Once the confessor has arrived at this type of knowledge, he is in a much better position to give the sort of advice that will hit the nail on the head.

The Plight of the Scrupulous

Of all the people whom the average confessor meets on a Saturday evening, there is probably no one more in need of true understanding and empathy than the scrupulous penitent. He is the sufferer par excellence. Many a psychiatrist has made the statement that he would rather endure a cancerous condition than the personality disorder involved in scrupulosity. When the disorder reaches its peak, the scrupulous person is often completely shackled by it. It then enters every phase of his life. It is with him from the moment he arises in the morning until he tries to get some rest at night. He takes it with him to the family breakfast table, to the office, and back again to the family circle. Yet, frequently even those near and dear to him are completely unaware of what is going on within his soul. He is alone within the realm of his ever-churning mind. And the most distressing part of it all is that there seems to be no end to the road upon which he treads.

Frequently he finds himself caught up in a dilemma, each side of which, as far as he is concerned, can lead only to eternal damnation. Thus, besides being loaded with the overwhelming burden of guilt that is the product of his imagined sins, he is prone to deep feelings of despair. He can see the senselessness of all his feelings and actions, but he cannot bring them under control. Often he is a person who falls back on self-pity. He asks himself: "Why should this happen to me? Why did it not happen to someone else?" Immediately his mind turns toward God, the ultimate reason for all things. He finds himself blaming God for his condition. He begins to feel that God has turned against him. And it is not unusual for him to discover within his mind some very angry thoughts directed squarely at God. These thoughts sometimes become an obsession with him. They keep coming back. He has no control over them. And in their wake there comes an ever-increasing sense of guilt.

Hostility and Anger

The insightful confessor who has had frequent contact with the scrupulous becomes ever more aware of a characteristic which seems to be common among those suffering from this type of personality disorder. This characteristic is a deep underlying anger and hostility. The far-reaching extent of this feeling is often completely unknown to the scrupulous person. Yet, this unconscious hostility and anger give his behavior a peculiar twist. It is not unusual to find a scrupulous person who is almost oblivious of the demands of charity and, at the same time, absolutely absurd in his observance of the sixth commandment. Present-day psychiatric thinking looks upon this feeling of hostility as the core (at least in part) of that personality disorder known in ecclesiastical circles as scrupulosity. This position implies that the scruples are simply a means of controlling the threatening feelings of anger and hostility. Frequently, the objects of these feelings are the very people the scrupulous person knows he is expected to love, such as a father or a mother. Because of his strict code of morality he cannot tolerate even the slightest manifestation of anger toward those whom he is commanded by God's law to love. The very idea of having approaching murderous thoughts toward a parent is so repulsive that he unconsciously turns to obsessions, such as those dealing with sex behavior. Scruples, therefore, are more a symptom of a disease than a disease itself.

Something Deeper

In searching for the cause of scrupulosity, the psychiatrist looks beyond the surface symptoms. He does not concentrate on the doubts and anxieties over past and present moral faults. He looks deeper into the personality structure of the scrupulous patient. He sees the disorder as a defense or protection against a deep-rooted anxiety provoking conflict which is buried in the unconscious part of the patient's personality. This defense he calls an obsession, which simply means the recurrence of thoughts and images over which the patient has little or no control. This condition appears among people suffering from any of several kinds of mental illness. It is, however, entirely possible that a person can have a mild form of scrupulosity and still be considered within the realm of those who are called normal. It is not unusual to see scrupulosity among adolescents, many of whom seem to pass through a phase of life when it becomes difficult to make accurate moral judgments in regard to sin. This uncertainty may lead to scruples.

If a priest is going to understand the personality of the scrupulous penitent who kneels beside him in the confessional, he needs to know something about the neurosis which afflicts this particular penitent. This knowledge will give him insight into the purpose of the obsessive disorder. It will indicate to him why the patient must cling so tenaciously to his warped code of morality. But, more important, it will point out to the confessor how he can share in the work of bringing this particular penitent back to sounder mental and spiritual health.

The Scrupulous Schizophrenic

The scrupulous penitent who is probably the most seriously disturbed is the one who suffers from a mental disorder known as schizophrenia. Aside from his preoccupations with his sins, both past and present, the scrupulous schizophrenic is plagued with numerous other symptoms. Most noteworthy of these is a tendency to live within a world of his own making. He is usually a person who is obviously withdrawn and shy, or who puts on an aggressive front so as to hide the real self. He cannot allow himself to become emotionally close to anyone. He is a stranger within his own family. He has no real friends. Because of all of this he suffers from a terrible feeling of isolation. Frequently, he is moody and anxious. He finds it very difficult to assume responsibility. This difficulty enters into his normal life where decisions about sinning or not sinning must often be faced.

Still another trait which characterizes the schizophrenic is lack of self-esteem and confidence. He can see nothing good in himself. He looks upon himself as quite useless. And, finally, there is his emotional life which seems to be out of kilter. He can talk about great joys and deep tragedies with little or no change of feeling. If the disorder has completely disrupted his personality, he often retreats so far from the real world that he begins to see things that actually do not exist or hear voices that have no foundation in reality. Such a schizophrenic penitent may intermingle his scrupulous doubts with veiled intimations that he has received special revelations and favors from God.

For the schizophrenic penitent, scruples serve a real purpose. They are a means of handling the ever-growing feelings of isolation and anxiety. In a way, the schizophrenic defends himself against further deterioration of his personality by means of his scruples. Thus, were these scruples suddenly to be taken away from him once and for all (which is an impossibility), he would probably fall prey to some kind of a breakdown. Such a person is in need of intensive psychiatric care. During the course of several confessions the understanding priest will be the one who becomes aware of the sufferings of his penitent. He will quickly notice that he is different and in need of a type of help which he himself is incapable of offering. He will urge him to seek competent psychiatric care. If the penitent returns week after week and still does not heed his advice, the priest will continue to urge in a forceful but kindly manner. Above all else, the understanding confessor will sense the deep feeling of isolation and anxiety that characterizes his penitent. He will, then, reach out to him through kindness and patience, coupled with his own self-confidence in his ability to help such a person spiritually.

Frequently, it is the developing of good relationship within the confessional between the schizophrenic penitent and the priest that does more to lessen the scruples than any other single factor. Research has shown that one of the major elements in improving the condition of schizophrenics is the positive relationship that develops between the patient and the therapist. For the first time in his life, the patient finds a person toward whom he can feel some semblance of emotional closeness, such as one friend usually feels toward another. An understanding confessor can establish a similar relationship, if he shows interest and kindness. To a certain extent he then becomes a therapist for the penitent in so far as he is helping the schizophrenic to get into closer contact with the real world.

The Depressive Scrupulous

A second group of people who suffer from scruples are those in an abnormally depressed state. At a certain period in one's life it sometimes happens that such personality changes take place as to throw the individual into prolonged periods of depression. Those who most frequently suffer from this disorder are women in their late forties and early fifties who are passing through a stage which is often called the "change of life." Their disorder is characterized by deep feelings of worthlessness and incessant worry. These two factors often give rise to scruples. The depressive turns to the matter of past sins to prove to herself and others that she is utterly worthless. These past sins also serve as fertile grounds for worry. The abnormally depressed will dig up past events, frequently exaggerate them far beyond actuality, and then become extremely despondent because she has convinced herself that God could not possibly forgive such a sinner. Since deep feelings of despondency and despair often lead to suicidal thoughts and sometimes to actual suicide, a confessor who understands the condition and feelings of the penitent is particularly needed. The seriously depressed person requires immediate psychiatric attention.

One of the duties of the confessor is to get the penitent to seek medical care. This frequently is a difficult undertaking because the despondent person is unaware of what is taking place within herself. She may well have convinced herself that her problem is spiritual, such as a falling off or a loss of faith. She will vigorously reject the possibility of any purely physical or psychological explanation. It is often only the kind but firm direction of a confessor that will bring this penitent to visit a family doctor who, in turn, can arrange for the proper type of psychiatric care. The confessor who can really understand what the penitent is suffering will be much more likely to succeed in giving the type of advice that will be of true help, and he will be less likely to settle for a few spiritual platitudes that in such cases are completely ineffective.

Obsessive Personalities

The number of schizophrenics or depressives who confront a confessor is relatively small. By far the greater proportion of scrupulous penitents can be described in psychiatric terms as obsessive personalities or obsessive-compulsive neurotics. An obsessive is one who has recurrent thoughts over which he has no control; a compulsive is one who must deal with recurrent urges to act over which he has no control. A person may be an obsessive without being compulsive. The usual transition is from obsessive thoughts to compulsive acts. When this occurs, there is every indication that the disorder is becoming worse. The scrupulous person is an obsessive personality inasmuch as he is unable to control his thinking when it comes to moral questions. He cannot stop his worrying as to whether he has committed a sin in the past; whether he has confessed all his mortal sins; whether he has confessed them correctly; whether he has always had true sorrow, etc.

Often, when his mind begins to function in this abnormal vein, nothing seems to stop it until it has just worn itself out. The obsessive person goes to confession, gives a detailed recitation of his faults, thinks that he has received relief from his deep feelings of guilt, but has no sooner said his penance than all his doubts surge in upon him once again. If he is allowed, he will go to confession three or four times a day, but all to no avail because he is not suffering from normal qualms of conscience but from a psychological disorder. His feelings of guilt are not the same as those that afflict the average penitent after he has committed a serious sin, but rather they are pathological indicators of a deep-rooted personality disorder.

The obsessive person is a perfectionist. He sets up rigid and frequently unattainable standards for himself. He is very prompt, meticulous, and precise. He is constantly putting himself under pressure to live up to his self-imposed standards. Any confessor who has dealt with a scrupulous penitent has probably become aware of these qualities in some form. His confession includes an enumeration of small details. If the penitent is not too disturbed, he will give a very ordered recitation of his faults. He is not very far into his confession when it becomes obvious that he has established codes of action for himself that are far more demanding than those set down in the moral theology books. And since he has failed to live up to these standards, he verbally chastises himself.

Most scrupulous obsessives are plagued with anxiety in various degrees. This anxiety is coupled with feelings of guilt and the need for some kind of reparation. The guilt results, in part, from an inability to live up to the self-imposed standards which are totally unrealistic. Since a person cannot feel guilty day after day and do nothing about it, the severely scrupulous often resort to various acts of propitiation. These acts sometimes become compulsive. When this occurs, the scrupulous person feels that he must perform them. Thus, it is not unusual to find a scrupulous penitent who feels that he must daily kneel on a stone floor before each of nine statues and say a predetermined set of prayers which consume the better part of an hour. If he fails to perform this propitiatory ritual, his anxiety becomes so great that it is unbearable. The disturbing part of this aspect of his personality is that these feelings of guilt and the need for reparation are never satisfied. As a result, the scrupulous person is constantly adding new rituals to his old repertoire. Gradually his life becomes just a mass of ritualistic acts.

As mentioned previously, a deeper trait of the obsessive personality is hostility. In some cases, as the anxiety mounts, the obsessions are directed toward others. Obsessives may have, for example, recurrent thoughts of butchering their own children or of pushing an aged mother in front of an onrushing streetcar. Such obsessions cause increased anxiety, and a vicious circle results. What is actually happening is that the scruples in other areas are no longer achieving their purpose. They are no longer lessening the anxiety, and, as a result, the real core of the problem is coming to the fore. However, facing the very heart of the disorder is an extremely terrifying experience for an obsessive.

The penitent who has an obsessive-personality disorder needs a confessor who is well fortified with patience and self-confidence. These two qualities will usually be the product of understanding and the ability to perceive clearly the mental anguish of the penitent. For if the confessor is unable to comprehend to some extent the workings of the scrupulous mind, he will in all probability eventually throw up his hands in disgust and look for some way to rid himself of a very trying situation. However, if he can gain even a partial insight into the nature and causes of obsessions, he is much more likely to be patient with the weekly recital of doubts and anxieties.

The confessor who lacks confidence in his ability as a counselor and a moralist finds that the scrupulous penitent quickly capitalizes on this short-coming. Frequently such a penitent will manage to entangle the confessor in involved argumentation concerning the morality of certain acts. Once this process has begun, there is no end to the intricate problems the scrupulous can conjure up. If the confessor makes use of a little insight, he soon becomes aware of the fact that the penitent is often not even listening to him, but rather is busy digging up other doubts from the distant past. When this occurs, the confessor ceases to be helpful. An uncertain and confused mind can only profit from the guidance of a mind that is clear, confident, and direct.

There are indications of a trend among some psychiatrists in dealing with obsessive-compulsives to take an authoritarian stand. This trend would seem to justify the traditional approach among moral theologians in demanding absolute obedience of the scrupulous penitent to one confessor. However, the efficacy of this technique probably rests to a great extent upon the positive relationship that is established during the course of many confessions between the confessor and the penitent. It is this relationship which will be the primary factor in lessening guilt and anxiety, in bringing the penitent back to sounder mental and spiritual health.

The Normal

Finally, there are those who can be called normal even though they are bothered with scruples. As previously mentioned, many adolescents seem to pass through a period of scrupulosity. More than anything else these penitents need good moral advice coupled with kindness and patience. In all probability, their condition is simply a developmental phase. Once they have learned how to form their consciences, particularly in regard to matters of sex, and find a certain degree of confidence in their ability, this condition will considerably lessen or simply disappear. Still another type of normal penitent who confesses scruples is the "attention-getter." He is in great need of attention and interest from others, and finds lengthy confessions of doubts and anxieties a way of satisfying this need. Those who are most apt to fall prey to this device are the aged. Often the only one to whom they can turn in their loneliness is a regular confessor who is kind enough to listen to the recital of their troubles and then give them a little fatherly counseling. In these cases scruples simply fulfill a need that cannot be satisfied in any other way.

Summary

Scrupulosity is not a single disease; rather it is a symptom of several different types of personality disorders. Each penitent has his own particular reason why he clings to this abnormal way of solving life's problems. If a confessor is to be effective in his dealings with the scrupulous, he must have an understanding of these underlying reasons. Moreover, his attention must be turned not so much to the disorder as to the person suffering the disorder. Once he has made this step, he will find himself in a unique position to bring the afflicted penitent back to a sounder mental and spiritual health through the medium of his counsel and advice.

© Joseph F. Wagner, Inc.

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