wellness education

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Nov 04, 2006

Loyola University Chicago cautions its students against the perils of date-rape drugs like Rohypnol and GHB, and gives this useful tip to prospective party-goers:

Consider using a coaster or test strip made to detect date rape drugs in drinks before you take a sip. An example is Drink Safe Coaster by Drink Safe Technology.

Now how's that for an example of moral formation of tomorrow's educated lay Catholic! Pope Benedict may have expressed some hesitations yesterday at Rome's Gregorian University, but The Home of the Jesuit Dental Dam™ has come through with the goods yet again!

"Know your sexual limitations," Loyola reminds its students in the same lesson, "and communicate them both verbally and non-verbally." Good point. If Monica Lewinsky had gone to Loyola she'd be Secretary General of the United Nations today. And Loyola doubtless speaks in the voice of its patron Saint Ignatius in empowering young people to fornicate exclusively on their own terms:

If you sense you are being pressured to have sex and don't want to, state your position clearly. Say "NO" emphatically when you mean "NO!" Be aware, too, that a female/partner does not need to say the word, "NO" to mean "NO." Listen for words like, "I'm just not ready," "We're going too fast," etc. The female/partner may be afraid to say "NO."

I confess the "female/partner" composite is a term new to me, but I surmise it's meant to signal Loyola's desire to extend the range of passive sexual receptacles beyond the limits imposed by dogma, bigotry, and fear. This is the kind of thinking you won't likely find in an ordinary secular college, where the values of Faith & Justice are not fully integrated into the curriculum. The difference becomes clear in imagining a well-instructed "female/partner" -- equipped with her or his Drink Safe Coaster -- responding to a stranger's overture in a bar:

"Why thanks, I'd love another drink! I'm sure you won't mind if I rummage in my handbag a minute for my Drink Safe Coaster ... um um um ... and dip it into my highball here. I'm, like, a sophomore at Loyola, you know, and Loyola is preparing us to conform our lives fully to Christ as mature thoughtful Spirit-filled ... um ... Catholics whose sexual recreations are fully consensual and safe, and on the chance that you might have, like, spiked my glass for the purpose of aggravated romance after I've passed out -- which, by the way, is contrary to the vision of the human person given in Gaudium et Spes and in my viral epidemiology textbook -- I just want to, like, test for traces of benzodiazepines by seeing .. um ... whether this paper turns blue when I soak it in the beverage you so kindly bought me so that if it comes up negative we can have a nice Rohypnol-free conversation and, if need arise, copulate in conformity with the Illinois, like, Criminal Code and my intrinsic human dignity as a female/partner educated in the Jesuit Tradition and -- are you serious? -- I'm a Gemini too!"

Loyola reminds you that the Drink Safe Coaster is a registered trademark of Drink Safe Technology, Ltd, Brunswick, Australia.