tip-top security

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Jan 13, 2010

As a public service, since I know that folks at the Vatican don't always stay abreast of news on the internet, let me offer a few advanced tips for Vatican security officials:

1) Mehmet Ali Agca will soon be on the loose. He's said that he wants to visit St. Peter's Square. Last time he did that, things didn't work out too well. If he shows up again, keep an eye on him, OK?

2) Susanna Maiolo is already loose. Next Christmas Eve, when the pilgrims file through security checkpoints at the Vatican basilica before midnight Mass, watch for a woman in a red sweater. If she answers to "Susanna," show her to a seat in the rear-- waaaaay in the rear.

Oh, wait. You know these things. You'd never let a known assailant get close to the Pope again. Your system works perfectly. My mistake.