my turn next

By Diogenes (articles ) | Sep 13, 2007

Newsweek has vouchsafed us an interview with Jessica Rowley, an energetic young woman who is, Newsweek tells us, a Catholic priest.

Let the magazine explain; I couldn't make this stuff up by myself:

Rowley’s ordination—which took place at Eden Theological Seminary, a progressive institution in Webster Groves, Mo.—is approved by the Ecumenical Catholic Communion, a group of churches that decline to recognize the authority of the pope but see themselves nevertheless as Roman Catholic.

Right. Absolutely. And I think the Ecumenical Catholic Communion even has a post-office box, too.

The teaser on the Newsweek web site reads: "Woman Explains Choice to Be Catholic Priest." Next week, in that space, look for the article about me: "Man Explains Choice to Be Archduke."

If you're free, you're cordially invited to my coronation, which will take place this Friday night at the Dew Drop Inn, a progressive institution in Yonkers, NY, under the auspices of the Monarchist Restoration Society, which is not recognized by the current government of Austria, but then what the heck, we don't recognize them, either.

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  • Posted by: - Sep. 17, 2007 2:52 PM ET USA

    So Rowley wants to be a Catholic priest. Why doesn't she want to be a priestess? Is her dementia really revealing her desire to be a Man? Well,aside from arealy intricate surgical procedure there is nothing to be done for her. But she does remind me of the person who announced: I always wanted to an English grammar teacher. Now I are one.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 14, 2007 2:47 PM ET USA

    Dee Ross makes a good point. There should be some copyright infringement or truth in advertising law that should prohibit such claims. Faithful Catholics in some dioceses where there are numerous altar-girls and extreme-ministers of the Eucharist could be fooled into thinking that they are receiving valid sacraments from her and thus put their eternal salvation in jeopardy.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 14, 2007 7:23 AM ET USA

    Why celebrate the sick. The woman has obviously been to one Renaissance festival too many. At the Library of Congress we had a lovely woman who was doing research so she could make her rightful claim to the French throne. Actually she knew Latin and Medieval French. She had a very sad problem as does the woman in Missouri.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 14, 2007 1:09 AM ET USA

    This is very grave! The Bishops better stop these women now. Take them to court for impersonating a Priest. For this woman to impersonate a Catholic Priest is grave matter and she and all the women, that claim they are Catholic or Roman Catholic Bishops and Catholic Priests, should be hauled into court for their fraudulent actions. Nobody has the "Right" to impersonate a Catholic Priest! Very very serious! If this woman impersonated a policeman or fireman, she would be jailed. What a phoney!

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 10:41 PM ET USA

    Here's her quote: "Jesus never turned anyone away at the table." Actually, that doesn't jibe with the Book of Revelations, where it says that practicing homosexuals and those associated with witchcraft, and others, are not only excluded from the celestial banquet, but are cast into . . .what was that? A lake of fire? Must be a mistranslation.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 5:09 PM ET USA

    I just want to be a baroness. Is that so wrong?

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 4:38 PM ET USA

    The Ecumenical Catholic Communion is not real. The Empire is real, but it is in abeyance.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 4:20 PM ET USA

    So the ECCs "hook" is that they don't believe in sin, but they have "sacraments." Makes you wonder what they do during confession, doesn't it?

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 4:14 PM ET USA

    Wait a minute, the Dew Drop Inn is a rather traditional place.... Crazed pseudo-aristocrats and simulated priests would not receive a warm welcome there.....

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 3:13 PM ET USA

    Doing theology at such a tender age! At the end of the dream, does God awaken, or does Mrs. Rowley?

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 2:57 PM ET USA

    I note that the story is tagged WEB EXCLUSIVE. I infer that that means even they didn't find it worthy of their dead-tree edition. The one with the hundred readers. Even online, though, I wonder if Newsweek would treat with apparent seriousness the claim of anybody to belong to any other organization to which she or he plainly does not belong. We'll see if they interview Archduke Diogenes I.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 1:16 PM ET USA

    Newsweek has a readership of about 100 people and MSNBC is almost as small in viewership. FOX business channel will destroy MSNBC and Newsweek will simply fade away. Thank God. By the way please address me as Mr. President; I just appointed myself!

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 1:05 PM ET USA

    Hey, wait a second! I am already the Archduke.... I was appointed and installed in gratitude for a large donation to finance the construction of a warehouse at 555 W. Temple in Los Angeles. Get your own Duchy, buddy.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 12:57 PM ET USA

    Speaking of the Holy Roman Emperor, if it were not for Charles V, there might not have been the Council of Trent. You see it is often the adults of the secular world (e.g, Constantine, Charles V) who realize the antinomianism which is dividing their constituencies must be ended. The pope and bishops were given strong words to end the lunacy of the 16th and 17th centuries in order to restore a secular order. Unfortunately, there are no adults alive today.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 11:04 AM ET USA

    She's got better teeth than my parish priest, anyway.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 10:00 AM ET USA

    I just want to be a Monsignor.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 13, 2007 9:31 AM ET USA

    As Holy Roman Emperor I hereby decree, Anathema sit!