Shock in St. Petersburg

By Diogenes (articles ) | Mar 31, 2005

JAKARTA (Xincao Wire) The Catholic faithful of the Diocese of St. Petersburg, Florida, were stunned and saddened today by the news that Bishop Robert N. Lynch, while playing a skins game at Indonesia's Surabaya Golf Club, missed a 22 inch birdie putt on the notorious 380-yard 16th hole, almost certainly due to negligent green-keeping.

"I had an absolute fizzer of an approach shot," fumed Lynch, "It cleared that big banyan by the stream and had enough backspin to kill it dead two feet from the cup. Then on my money putt the ball hits an invisible gully and skitters off three feet to the left. It ruined my whole Easter!"

At noon today, Catholics in Lynch's diocese observed a two-minute silence to express their solidarity in outrage and grief for the dereliction of duty in Surabaya green maintenance. Lynch himself retired to console his caddy and has refused to speak further to reporters.

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  • Posted by: Eleazar - Apr. 01, 2005 9:07 AM ET USA

    Would it be inappropriate of me to have wished for a reprise of the scene in the movie Caddyshack, when the bishop, playing through a driving rain, misses the "putt of his life," utters a curse and gets a jolt of "divine light?"

  • Posted by: Gil125 - Mar. 31, 2005 7:05 PM ET USA

    "Lynch himself retired to console his caddy and has refused to speak further to reporters." 1) Let's hope he didn't console his caddy TOO much. 2) It's OK that he refused to speak to reporters. The less he says the better.

  • Posted by: Vincit omnia amor - Mar. 31, 2005 6:11 PM ET USA

    Now, now, Diogenes. Let's go easy on the 'ole boy. He's supposedly returning to FLA on Mercy Sunday. Maybe he'll surprise you but offering a prayer that both sides in the battle over the holy innocent Terri Schiavo be "amiable" to eachother. You know, that the forces of darkness make nice nice with those of the Light, and vice versa. After all, he missed the shot of his life time and is seeking to console his caddy...whata nice guy.

  • Posted by: - Mar. 31, 2005 5:16 PM ET USA

    Will this affect his trip to Indonesia?

  • Posted by: - Mar. 31, 2005 3:55 PM ET USA

    Thank God for Father Pavone. He stood tall while Bishop Lynch hid in the Pacific. I am stunned that the Bishop left his parishioners and the parents in this most sordid of times. Maybe he will be appointed to a diocese in Indonesia; I will e mail a suggestion to the Vatican!