Shock in St. Petersburg

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Mar 31, 2005

JAKARTA (Xincao Wire) The Catholic faithful of the Diocese of St. Petersburg, Florida, were stunned and saddened today by the news that Bishop Robert N. Lynch, while playing a skins game at Indonesia's Surabaya Golf Club, missed a 22 inch birdie putt on the notorious 380-yard 16th hole, almost certainly due to negligent green-keeping.

"I had an absolute fizzer of an approach shot," fumed Lynch, "It cleared that big banyan by the stream and had enough backspin to kill it dead two feet from the cup. Then on my money putt the ball hits an invisible gully and skitters off three feet to the left. It ruined my whole Easter!"

At noon today, Catholics in Lynch's diocese observed a two-minute silence to express their solidarity in outrage and grief for the dereliction of duty in Surabaya green maintenance. Lynch himself retired to console his caddy and has refused to speak further to reporters.