Let us greet our presider with #391 in the green hymnbooks
By Diogenes ( articles ) | Dec 17, 2004
Archbishop Flynn said sash-wearers would not be denied Communion because members of the movement had assured him in writing that their presence was not in protest of church teachings. -- news item
The original of the following hymn was found in a previously undiscovered folio of the Deutsches Volksgesangbuch (c. 1631). I have hazarded my own provisional translation.
(sung -- with due solemnity -- to the tune of Tannenbaum)
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
How welcome your distractions!
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
You trigger fierce reactions:
Your colors dazzle children's eyes
Before they've learned to sodomize.
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
Replacing faith with factions!
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
You help our lads and lasses
Unconsciously make liturgy
Into revolting masses:
Your turn their pure and pious prayers
To thoughts of rectal tissue tears.
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
How soon their worship passes!
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
You're just a strip of cotton.
If mom objects to crypto-sex
You prove her heart is rotten.
Like Joseph's many-colored robes
You herald death of homophobes.
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
Conception ill-begotten!
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
You needn't fear ejection.
Our flag deploy, since you enjoy
The bishop's staunch protection.
Whoever your six colors wears
His monochrome conviction bares.
O Rainbow Sash, O Rainbow Sash,
He shares your sole affection!
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