just before bedtime

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Dec 04, 2004

Progress has been "nothing less than miraculous," said Bishop Wilton Gregory, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. -- news item, June 2003

Mommy, why do we go to church?

Because, Melissa, we believe God raised his Son Jesus from the dead.

Well, how do we know it's true?

The apostles saw it, and they told bishops who told other bishops who told us.

But didn't Bishop Michael lie to Mrs. Schafer when she asked if Fr. Jeff molested Rickey?

Yes ...

And didn't he lie about whether he knew Father Jeff had molested boys back at St. Polycarp's?

Well, yes, he did.

And Bishop Michael didn't tell the truth, did he, about the real reason he sent Fr. Jeff to Queen of Martyrs? Or about the stuff he had heard from other people? Or about whether he told Mrs. Schafer not to say anything?

I'm afraid he did not.

Does Rickey believe God raised Jesus from the dead?

Well, no, not any more.

Why not?

He stopped believing in God because Bishop Michael told his mother he was safe when he wasn't.

Are all bishops liars?

Of course not. You should be ashamed to ask such a thing.

Well, did the good bishops visit Rickey and tell him that Bishop Michael was a bad bishop and he should believe in God anyway?

I really don't think they did, no.

But how couldn't they? Don't the good bishops think it's important that Rickey believes in God?

I'm sure they do, honey, but Bishop Michael is just --

Wait. You said we only believe in Jesus because we believe the bishops are telling the truth about him. But Rickey doesn't believe because of Bishop Michael's lies. And the other bishops don't think it matters if Rickey comes to church, or else they'd throw Bishop Michael out or at least tell Rickey they know he was lying all along. So if it doesn't matter to bishops whether another bishop made a whole bunch of stuff up, why do we think they're not telling a fib about Jesus?

Oh dear. It's all so com- ... the bishops ... I don't have a clear ... Go ask your father!