Honesty and Contagious Obedience to Jesus
By Fr. Jerry Pokorsky ( bio - articles - email ) | Jan 20, 2025
The account of the Wedding Feast at Cana (cf. Jn. 2) has various layers of meaning, including a glimpse (but only a glimpse) of the social life of Jesus, the institution of the sacrament of Matrimony by the sacred presence of Jesus, Mary as intercessor, and the significance of Mary’s last recorded words. The account teaches us how to formulate our prayers of petition, deal with our superiors, and seek the peace of Christ.
Jesus and Mary attend a wedding feast. The celebration runs out of wine, suggesting a rather boisterous party. Mary notices the deficiency and approaches Jesus with the need: “They have no wine,” and Jesus responds with a hint of reluctance: “O woman [not “mother”] what have you to do with me?”
Jesus is the new Adam, and Mary is the new Eve (woman). Is the initial reaction of Jesus—unlike Adam’s surrender to Eve—a signal to us that He will not abide by the intercession of the New Eve until Mary demonstrates that her perfect fidelity is contagious, like Original Sin in reverse? Will the consequences of Mary’s fidelity begin to overcome the consequences of Eve’s disobedience? How will we cooperate with Mary to bring the peace of Jesus to the world?
Mary famously directs wine stewards—and us—in her last recorded words: “Do whatever he tells you.” Jesus performs His first miracle, turns the water into wine, reverses Eve’s seduction of Adam, and consecrates matrimony as a Sacrament, restoring the original unity of man and woman.
Mary’s intercession anticipates the prayer of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus prays, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mt. 26:39) The components of petitionary prayers include an expression of need, maybe a carefully formulated request, and conclude with the faithful surrender to the Divine will: “Thy will be done.”
Mary presents the need without offering proposed solutions. She trusts Her Divine Son. In prayer in the Garden, Jesus also offers no options as he prays for His Father to remove the chalice of His suffering. He places his hand on the plowshare and doesn’t look back: “Thy will be done.”
The prayers of the Mass follow the same pattern. We enumerate our litany-like petitions during the Prayers of the Faithful.” The Our Father summarizes the prayers and petitions of the Roman Canon. Unlike magical incantations, we do not direct God, like a puppet on a string. We present our needs to Him and humbly petition His favors. As we conclude our petitions with, “Thy will be done.” We faithfully acknowledge God knows our needs and desires better than we do.
Our liturgical prayers are typically generic. We pray for the dead but occasionally may add the name of a recently deceased parishioner. We avoid unnecessary details that may violate the Eighth Commandment. Alas, most of us have seen abusive prayer chains that go far beyond expressing prayer and compassion. Pretending pious concern, we often engage in unholy gossip. We may pray for the healthy recovery of a friend or associate, but many details are none of our business.
We could use the example of Mary in our relationships with our superiors as we honor the Fourth Commandment. Mary humbly places her needs before Jesus, allowing Jesus to do with the information as He wills. Mary avoids prefacing her observation with variations of the bossy “You should.”
Imagine a child’s disrespect in telling his parents: “You should give me a cookie.” A polite request honors the Fourth Commandment: “Mom, may I have a cookie, please?” A secure child is comfortable expressing his wishes, as he respects his mother’s authority and ability to respond to his requests. Demonstrating his respect, he need not add, “Thy will be done.” Love, mutual respect, and obedience are fundamental to a peaceful family.
Among the most familiar preambles in the parish comedy are people approaching the priest on his way to the rectory with, “Father, this will just take a second.” Usually the intervention is benign. Other times, the phrase means: “I thought about this proposal for an entire week, and I want you to agree with me in a second!” Folks rarely add, “Thy will be done.” But don’t expect a priest to throw too many stones at the people in his parish sitcom. Like any subordinate, he is not immune to the same spirit of manipulation with his superiors.
Priests are on a learning curve in the comedy of parish life. Parishioners often target assistants to avoid uncomfortable encounters. So it isn’t uncommon for parishioners to evade conversations with a pastor and speak to an assistant. Unless the pastor designates an assistant as his spear-catcher, a wise employee directs the person to talk to the pastor.
In obsequious religious life, there is a sardonic saying about the ordination of a man as a bishop. Henceforth, the saying goes, a bishop will never suffer a bad meal or hear the truth again. Don’t be smug. We may say the same about many employer/employee relationships. However—in families, workplaces, and the Church, we need respectful arguments, provided the boss has the last word.
There’s nothing wrong with invoking just authority. Children often wear out their parents as they ask, “Why.” Mother: “Because I said so, that’s why!” Authority is inseparable from responsibility—or should be. President Truman’s famous desk sign belongs on the desk of anyone in authority: “The buck stops here.” In extreme cases, a superior may refuse to acknowledge the obvious (illegal, immoral, or incredibly stupid behavior, for example). But in the ordinary course of events, inferiors should defer to their superiors: “Not mine, but thine.”
Honesty and contagious obedience to Jesus in imitation of Mary bring the tranquility of order to families, communities, and nations. When we ask God for favors, there is no harm in respectfully presenting all of our needs to God and concluding with love, “Thy will be done.” Ditto our lawful superiors.
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