good old boy

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Sep 08, 2006

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have one biological child, plus two adopted. You might think they're ready to make a commitment. Wrong!

It's a matter of social justice, Brad explains:

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

Brilliant! All around the world, right now, confirmed bachelors are popping another Bud Lite to toast Brad Pitt, who has tossed them a lifeline that should last forever.

You say the little lady is getting possessive? Don't worry, old buddy. Try Brad's logic.

Gee, honey, I'd love to marry you. But I just don't think it would be right, as long as our gay brothers and sisters are denied the same right.

Excellent. Gotta be good for a few months of domestic peace. But if she keeps pushing:

Sure, we could get married. But do you really want to break our solidarity with the disenfranchised couples who can't marry, simply because they are under the age of 12?

And when all else fails,

Look, sweetheart, if Angelina Jolie doesn't make a fuss about it...