...from a program not used in the Boston archdiocese...

By Diogenes ( articles ) | May 14, 2003

Talking About Tapping

(excerpt from the Empower Our Children Program (tm) All rights reserved.) Let's see how the girl in our story used the Two-Tap Rule. This is Caitlin. She likes to sing and to play in the wading pool when the weather is hot. One day Father Willie asked her to "play blankey" on the patio (PAT-ee-oh). "Yours has been an effective life of ministry," Caitlin said in a strong clear voice, "sadly impaired by illness," and fired two .357 rounds into Father Willie's left hip. Lots of little girls would have tried to maximize soft tissue damage, but Caitlin knows the six basics of handgun management: Grip, Aiming, Breath control, Trigger squeeze, Target engagement, Posture. She remembers that safety, not satisfaction, is the goal of licita defensio (ST 2-2 q. 64 a. 7), and clean exit wounds leave less of a mess for mom! Caitlin taught all her friends her favorite songs about Leviticus and the Second Amendment (a-MEND-ment). Now they're all double-chambered for .38 Special, and with the money saved on practice cartridges they bought Father Willie a HUGE stuffed panda named "The Learning Curve." Sometimes Nelson, father's nurse, sets it upright on a chair so he can see it. Caitlin's mom is proud of her.