Feel the communion!

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Sep 07, 2005

The American Catholic Church is an excrescence of the Old Catholic schism of the 19th century (bisexual camel swallowers who choked on the gnat of Pastor Aeternus). Today they've got impressively contemporary calluses on their doctrinal tonsils, as evidenced by St. Fechin's Ecumenical Apostolic Church, Tucson, AZ:

Our special mission is to provide a community for Roman Catholics, separated from the church by divorce, birth control, sexual orientation or rejection of dogma. No one should be cut off from God's community over dogma. We offer a joyful, welcoming, spiritual Old Catholic Church with sacramental liturgy and Apostolic Succession -- without the burden of adherence to the Bishop of Rome's Curia. Has it been too long since you spoke with God? Come home to St. Fechin's.

"No one should be cut off from God's community over dogma." And if I reject the dogma that no one should be cut off from God's community over dogma, am I cut off from God's community or not?

It doesn't matter, of course, not even to St. Fechin's step-it, Father Mark. He'll do you a slap-up wedding for as low as 125 clams, exclusive of chapel rental fee and pet-sitting, and most important -- indeed, one of the Tenets of the Church -- Father Mark conducts a truly inclusive ecclesial community, accepting both Diner's Club AND American Express:

We will not cast the first stone, nor will we Judge. More than that, we cherish the command to Love One Another. All are welcome in our community -- challenge us with your wisdom, worship with us, feel the communion and peace that comes with a Sacramental life.

I find it hard to grasp why folks unconcerned with dogma should think it important to "cherish" any particular command, or, for that matter, to boast about enjoying the Apostolic Succession, since both notions-- apart from the value with which dogma invests them -- are nothing more than crayon marks in a coloring book. A glance at the 1874 menu from the same cafeteria suggests that, ecclesially speaking, the OC crowd are more interested in fashion than in faith.