But why doesn't the Vatican DO something?

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Jun 06, 2003

Two imaginary dialogues:

Papal Nuncio: Look here, Bishop, the papers say you've grossly mismanaged your diocese. Now what about it?

Bishop (Response #1): "All true, I'm afraid. The fact is that the only reason I became a priest is that I couldn't tell mom I was queer. I've never had any particular interest in religion. The reason I was made bishop is that I was Cardinal X's golf partner. Probably it didn't hurt either that Cardinal Y was indiscreet with his housekeeper and found out later that she was my cousin. Of course I knew all about my diocese's underage abusers for the most part. But to tell the truth I haven't always behaved perfectly myself, and there's a waiter in Provincetown named Fabio who could make life miserable for me if he ratted me out; in fact he threatened to go on Good Morning America if I didn't reinstate Father A -- who helped him finance his condo among other things -- after A got in trouble in his third consecutive parish. And once you start this game it's hard to back out: you have to tell more and more elaborate lies to cover the first ones and you have to come down faster and harder on the victims. So right now the press and the DA suspect the truth and I can't move in any direction without bringing the whole mess down on my head. There you have it, short and squalid."

Bishop (Response #2): "Lies, all lies! Excellency, I want you to tell the Holy Father that I am the victim of an anti-Catholic smear campaign. The liberal media are out to get me because of my spirited defense of the Church's teaching on the right to unionize."

Now ask yourself: Which response is easier to speak? Which response is easier to hear?

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