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Catholic Culture Resources

Buggery Board Commends Bruskewitz for Un-Boffed Boys

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Apr 01, 2006

APRIL FOOL!

Bishop Bruskewitz, on the contrary, was singled out for admonishment by the bishops' Office of Child & Youth Protection. Although the ratio of bloody underpants to active parishes in Lincoln is among the very lowest of all U.S. dioceses, it has "refused to participate" in the OCY's audit compliance process, whence the board's chairwoman "calls for strong fraternal correction" of the bishop.

Considering the number of fully compliant dioceses that are selling their churches in yard sales to raise cash for the busted-boundary bill, considering the number of his confreres at liberty only because they cut deals with the State's Attorney, considering the perjurers and felon-accessories and masseurs of triathletes who remain unrebuked by their episcopal brethren, the threat of "fraternal" correction must be hugely amusing to Bruskewitz.

Who would deliver the remonstrance ... Beeper Ziemann? Tickles Dupre? Archbishop Emeritus Weakland?

Then again, perhaps the bishop of Springfield, Illinois could instruct his Lincoln counterpart on his episcopal duties. True, the Springfield chancellor was found beaten at midnight in a park known as a gay cruising zone and the vicar general's roommate is on fraternity leave and the cops are still having to break up spats between the former bishop and his rent boys -- but the key point at issue is that OCY found Springfield FULLY IN COMPLIANCE with the norms of the Charter and audit.

And, after all, as a people of promise, isn't that what our journey in faith is all about?

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