...and to end famine, burn crops

By ( articles ) | Sep 15, 2004

How do you respond to a crime wave?That's easy; disband the police force.

Bothered by mice in your home? Don't worry; just leave plenty of cookie crumbs on the kitchen floor.

Caught in a thunderstorm on the golf course? Relax. Just run to the highest point you can find, and stick a 9-iron in the air.

I know what you're thinking: that I must be a genius to think of these solutions. But I can't take all the credit for myself; I've been learning from Cardinal Martino.