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brush back

By Diogenes (bio - articles ) | Feb 17, 2007

But this is an illusion. Life is a never-ending tsunami of "if onlys" for those who opt to not step up to the plate of life in the Spirit at the one time it matters.

Dropping back in the pocket of pastoral theology to attempt the screen play of scriptural exegesis, our hero fakes to the fullback of phenomenology before getting sacked by the safety of malapropism.

Wait. I think there's an injury on the field.

For historians of the mangled metaphor, hardball spirituality may call to mind a classic from 1957: Oliver Jensen's parody of the Gettysburg Address in the manner of General Eisenhower. Here's the fourth quarter thereof:

It was those individuals themselves, including the enlisted men, very brave individuals, who have given this religious character to the area. The way I see it, the rest of the world will not remember any statements issued here but it will never forget how these men put their shoulders to the wheel and carried this idea down the fairway.

Now frankly, our job, the living individuals' job here, is to pick up the burden and sink the putt they made these big efforts here for. It is our job to get on with the assignment -- and from these deceased fine individuals to take extra inspiration, you could call it, for the same theories about the set-up for which they made such a big contribution. We have to make up our minds right here and now, as I see it, that they didn't put out all that blood, perspiration and -- well -- that they didn't just make a dry run here, and that all of us here; under God, that is, the God of our choice, shall beef up this idea about freedom and liberty and those kind of arrangements, and that government of all individuals, by all individuals and for the individuals, shall not pass out of the world-picture.

And also with you.

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Show 7 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: - Feb. 19, 2007 5:55 PM ET USA

    The tone of this posting and comments confirms me in my intention to give up reading "Off the Record" for Lent. Perhaps indefinitely. Oremus pro invicem.

  • Posted by: - Feb. 18, 2007 10:50 AM ET USA

    "Touch not the Lord's anointed, and to his prophets do no harm." From this morning's first reading, it is clear that David had a fine sense of what this means- perhaps indeed the phrase is his. Why would a person want to bring down wrath on his own head by contravening this command? In the Church we are not children playing in the street taunting one another and making fun of one another.

  • Posted by: - Feb. 17, 2007 2:17 PM ET USA

    Once again, Pseudodionysius, you're nasty. Right, but nasty. Keep it up.

  • Posted by: - Feb. 17, 2007 9:08 AM ET USA

    "If only the plaintiff's attorneys hadn't got a hold of those emails."

  • Posted by: - Feb. 17, 2007 9:07 AM ET USA

    Uncle Di, The Holy See should decree a new plenary indulgence for those of us forced to wade through Cardinal Mahony's turgid meanderings.

  • Posted by: - Feb. 17, 2007 8:34 AM ET USA

    Is the writer/speaker a Prince of the Catholic Church? Our dear Lord's warning ("How I wish you were hot or cold...) come to mind. In common language, 'What a wuss."!

  • Posted by: - Feb. 17, 2007 7:43 AM ET USA

    "We look to a future brimming over with excess of joy and delight..." No, Your Excellency, "excess of joy and delight" does not await us in Heaven. The pursuit of an "excess" may have bogged down quite a few of us here, though.

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