good old boy

By Diogenes (articles ) | Sep 08, 2006

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have one biological child, plus two adopted. You might think they're ready to make a commitment. Wrong!

It's a matter of social justice, Brad explains:

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

Brilliant! All around the world, right now, confirmed bachelors are popping another Bud Lite to toast Brad Pitt, who has tossed them a lifeline that should last forever.

You say the little lady is getting possessive? Don't worry, old buddy. Try Brad's logic.

Gee, honey, I'd love to marry you. But I just don't think it would be right, as long as our gay brothers and sisters are denied the same right.

Excellent. Gotta be good for a few months of domestic peace. But if she keeps pushing:

Sure, we could get married. But do you really want to break our solidarity with the disenfranchised couples who can't marry, simply because they are under the age of 12?

And when all else fails,

Look, sweetheart, if Angelina Jolie doesn't make a fuss about it...

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  • Posted by: - Sep. 10, 2006 1:21 AM ET USA

    not to worry Gavin Young will straighten out everything in the pre-Cana

  • Posted by: - Sep. 09, 2006 11:12 AM ET USA

    Who cares what Brad Pitt thinks about marriage? He married J. A. and then dumped her to shack up with A. J. What difference does it make if he "ties the knot" when the knot can just as easily be untied?

  • Posted by: - Sep. 09, 2006 8:38 AM ET USA

    I'm sure that one of the recently invalidly "ordained" priestesses would be glad to perform the ceremony, in their own inclusive way...

  • Posted by: parochus - Sep. 09, 2006 12:58 AM ET USA

    In solidarity with Bragelina, I'm going to stay celibate until I can marry my lab.

  • Posted by: - Sep. 08, 2006 10:34 PM ET USA

    Is it a sign of a troubled society when those, and only those, who are least capable intellectually to advise on issues of social and cultural matter are the ones whose opinions we see in the papers?

  • Posted by: Clorox - Sep. 08, 2006 9:05 PM ET USA

    A right to legal marriage is too much of a demand at this point in our progressive evolutionary growth. I'll settle for domestic partnership benefits for me and my pet dog.