The Winners!

By Diogenes (articles ) | Dec 02, 2004

Frances Kissling of Catholics for a Free Choice is familiar to OTR readers as an emblem of what can be accomplished by mutually respectful dialogue with pro-aborts. She began her personal journey as an inflexible and unapologetic proponent of abortion on demand. After years of sharing and study, she now presents herself as ... an inflexible and unapologetic proponent of abortion on demand. However, Kissling recently admitted that she's willing to consider "treating the fetus humanely during the termination of its life" by anesthetizing it first.

But Kissling has other irons in the fire, with pride of place given to her Condoms4Life campaign. Kissling realizes -- few better -- that if the Catholic Church were to knuckle under and permit condoms, her teaching on the unity of the sexual act would collapse. As a consequence, with sex isolated from fecundity, the moral barriers to homosexuality and abortion simply crumble. Now CFFC has announced the recipients of its Good Shepherd Awards, which commend Catholic bishops outstanding "for their positions on condom use to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS." Each deserving winner "will receive a small sculpture honoring their contributions to HIV prevention efforts." The envelopes, please!

  • Cardinal Godfried Danneels of Mechlin-Brussels, Belgium, for his role in POP! Goes the Weasel: "When an HIV-positive person says to his partner, 'I want to have sexual relations,' he must use a condom." Kudos, Eminence!

  • Bishop Kevin Dowling of Rustenburg, South Africa, for his role in Of Course I'll Respect You in the Morning!: "The church should give people [all] the options, one of which is to use a condom, not as a contraceptive, but to prevent transmission of a death-dealing virus ... I believe the church should be fundamentally experienced by people as a revelation of the compassionate, nonjudging God that gives people space to go through a range of experiences in the quest for basic human dignity." Congrats, Excellency -- we all knew you had it in you!
  • Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor of Westminster, England, for his role in Clueless: "While we can say that, objectively, the use of condoms is wrong, there are places where it might be licit, or allowable, as when there's a danger of intercourse leading to death. It would be wrong to take a special case and make it a universal law." Enjoy the sculpture, Your Grace!
  • Commission for Health of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of India for their role in What's a Nice Retrovirus Like You Doing in a Place Like This?: "The church will not be promoting or propagating the use of condoms. We will, however, provide all information about it. In case a couple wants to use it, we would suggest they speak to their pastor and then take a decision based on what their conscience says." You earned it, my Lords!

How's that for a display of pastoral solicitude? Surely it calls for some broader recognition. One way in which OTR readers might be of service to Ms. Kissling and the bishops laureate is to come up with an appropriate nickname for the Condoms4Life statuette -- something on the order of the Emmy or Grammy or Tony. All suggestions -- use the comments box below -- gratefully received.

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Show 14 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: - Dec. 03, 2004 3:38 AM ET USA

    Perhaps, 'Gummy'?

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 9:45 PM ET USA

    Bishop Dowling says God is nonjudgmental? I guess we couldn't go without "making decisions based on what their conscience says either" comment. So if your childs conscience says that it is ok to play in the street regardless of if it busy intersection, then it must be ok. They'll just have to live with the consequences. Relying on conscience goes hand in hand with moral teaching.

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 9:24 PM ET USA

    A "good shepherd" award? How about a statue of a wolf in sheep's robes?

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 4:30 PM ET USA

    The Golden Glob

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 3:56 PM ET USA

    I've got it. We call it the zygote.

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 1:41 PM ET USA

    Kissling and the assorted fuzzy brains cited here need to be rounded up and sent to the labor camps of Red China. A little bit of work (for a change) might help bring them to their senses ! Frankly I think they feast on any attention we give them: so let's just ignore them !

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 1:13 PM ET USA

    My vote goes to "the Woody." Because as we all know where there's a woody there's not a lot of clear thinking going on.

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 12:30 PM ET USA

    How about the "Jimmie" , the "Dickie" or the "Twig and Berries?

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 11:35 AM ET USA

    A Condoms For Life Statuette should be nicknamed: "Balloons for Bozos" aka the Leakies, Drippies, Woopsies, The Improbables, The Incredibles, Weapons of Mass Dystopia, etc.

  • Posted by: extremeCatholic - Dec. 02, 2004 11:03 AM ET USA

    The empty cradle award.

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 9:31 AM ET USA

    Why are Catholic bishops so ready to accept and hand on the nonsense and outright lies coming from bureaucratic, governmental apparatchiks, but not the Church's, nor the pope's, nor Sacred Tradition's, nor even Christ's (not that there should be any difference)?

  • Posted by: leila - Dec. 02, 2004 9:27 AM ET USA

    But -- what does the statue look like? Is there a picture? I couldn't find one...

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 9:26 AM ET USA

    Kissling's Quisling Award

  • Posted by: - Dec. 02, 2004 9:23 AM ET USA

    Many having been otherwise programmed, the phenomenon of "AIDS" is caused by extreme drug abuse. Why in 20 years is there only one photograph of the AIDS "virus"? There appears to be a harmless, tag-along virus which is detectable, but it cannot be shown to cause the disease. While the affliction is real, the response is entirely for bureaucratic control of vacuous minds. Orthodoxy apparently not being relevant, the first test of a bishop should be that he does not believe the government.