Don't ask, don't tell: a subtle seminary entrance test
By ( articles ) | Dec 22, 2005
1) What is your current occupation?
- construction worker
- computer programmer
- dance instructor
2) Would you like something to drink?
- a cold can of beer would be nice
- Scotch, thanks, with just a splash.
- Chardonnay, but only if it's chilled. Or do you have any herbal tea?
3) In high school, what was your main extracurricular activity?
- football team
- school newspaper/student government
- drama club
4) When your friends come over for dinner, what do you like to serve?
- Steak. You want vegetables? Don't worry; the cow ate some.
- Burgers on the grills, probably. The wives and girlfriends will bring salads, so we'll be OK.
- Quiche
5) If you could choose any car for your own use, what would your prefer?
- a 4-by-4 pickup truck
- whatever; as long as it's comfortable and gets good mileage
- a sporty red convertible
6) If you are not admitted to the seminary, what career path are you most likely to choose:
- the US Marines
- investment banking
- fashion design
7) If you had the time to get out of the city, and spend a few weeks in the countryside, what do you think you would enjoy the most?
- hunting
- the quiet, the fresh air, the clear skies at night
- the antique shops
8) An old friend calls, to ask if you have a couple of hours this weekend to help him do a valve job on his old Jeep. What do you say?
- Sure! Should I bring my spring compressor?
- OK, I suppose. If you can tell me what to do…
- What's a valve job?
9) Imagine that you can take a half-dozen of your old friends on a week-long vacation, with all expenses paid. Which would you choose:
- Camp out at an untouched trout stream. Eat what you catch. Play poker at night. Remember to take a shower as soon as you get home.
- Fly to Scotland. Play 18 holes on a different golf course every day.
- Book a nice hotel in New York. Catch a different Broadway show every night.
10) At a friend's birthday party, you are introduced to a young woman who is, frankly, a bombshell. Beautiful curly red hair, a 50-megawatt smile, and a sensational figure. She's wearing a tight hot-pink dress with a slit up to here and a neckline plunging down to there, and she's delighted to meet you. What is your first reaction?
- What do you think think my first reaction is? I'm human, you know.
- I try to avoid her, without being impolite. Custody of the eyes, and all that. Stay away from trouble.
- I love it; she's fabulous! I just wish she'd realize that pink is not her color. And those shoes definitely don't match the belt!
For extra credit:
11) What do you think of this test?
- Worth a couple of laughs, I suppose.
- Not sure. What are you getting at?
- I am outraged! How dare you!
How to score your own test If you have to ask, you flunk.
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