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QUIT CLOWNING AROUND

By Leila Marie Lawler (articles ) | Jun 07, 2003

A priest friend was sending around vile scans of nuns in clown costumes (a photo from a newspaper, don't get me wrong) something struck me. We could make a rule about this! One rule I just thought of on the spur of the moment: no consecrated person should ever wear a clown costume.

Clowns are one of those things in life that some people really hate, and others havent really thought about it. If they thought about it, and please dont be offended if you are a person who enjoys clowns or even dresses up as one, they might think that they saw a clown once or twice in a circus and it was pretty funny in a sort of lame way.

But if they thought some more about it, they would realize that there is no excuse for clowns, and no one should dress up as one, because when you get right down to it clowns are scary. Lame, and scary.

I came to this conclusion after a life of not really thinking that clowns are that bad when a friend of ours told me story. Hes a cop, a big burly guy with a shaved head and a cute wife and a bunch of cute kids. One day at a parade a clown came up and started chucking his baby under the chin.

The baby, mind you, who really doesnt know what a clown is or why it should be funnier than anyone else (say, the guy waving the stick in the air to make folks play their instruments or for that matter the lady standing next to them who neglected to take out her shorts-wearing permit before appearing in public with her enormous thighs showing).

So the clown is in this babys face and if you are playing along it seems fine but if you are not it seems random, sinister, and also lame. So my friend, who was not playing along, not at all, leans over and says to the clown, If you touch my baby again Ill break your arm. I think you should leave now. And that just puts it all into perspective, doesnt it? Because why should disguising his face and dressing like an idiot give someone the right to touch a baby?

And the truth that lies behind that question is why consecrated persons should just give up on dressing like clowns.

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  • Posted by: - Jun. 07, 2003 11:58 AM ET USA

    Not that I'm big clown fan, nor a supporter of the women who pass for nuns these days, but Leila has put way too much thought into this. I'm not sure we need a Philosophy of Clowns. You like clowns or you don't. And a nun who dresses as a clown is at least cheery, whereas a nun who dresses in a business suit truly is scary. But I think we all agree it would be nice to get back to nuns being nuns, clowns being clowns, and dads politely waving off annoying clowns rather than threatening battery.

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