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By Diogenes (articles ) | Mar 01, 2005

Great news from Scotland:

The Catholic Church was also upbeat about the future, pointing to the Church's own census in 2002 that showed 11.2 per cent go to church on Sundays compared to 7.5 per cent in England.

"Ladies and gennulmin, this is your, ah, cap'n speakin. You prob'ly noticed our starboard wing has just been shot off by a Stinger missile and our aircraft is in an uncontrolled dive earthward. However, those passengers on the left side of the aircraft where the flames aren't so bad can see --' round the 10 o'clock position -- a burning Delta 737 in the same dive condition as us only 4,000 feet below our altitude. I reckon Delta'll hit ground about, oh, 15 to 18 seconds before we will. So relatively speakin we're in fine shape. Now while our little ladies are goin through the cabin to pick up your headsets and any unwanted service items, I'd ask you to return your seatbacks and tray tables to their full upright and locked po-"

Transmission discontinued 09:51:47:08 CST

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  • Posted by: - Mar. 01, 2005 11:57 AM ET USA

    The British Isles are desperately in need of another St. Patrick, a St. Augustine, or a St. Boniface. Of course that was back when their was real Good News to proclaim, and when people were dieing to be witnesses (martyrs) to that Good News. I don't quite think Public Relations damage control offers the same inspiration.