The Making of a Man
Western society is suffering a crisis of masculinity, or lack thereof, and responding to this crisis is Dr. Philip Mango, Catholic psychotherapist and founding member of the New-York-based St. Michael’s Institute of the Psychological Sciences. According to Dr. Mango, the present catastrophe has "multiple complex causes;" one is the Industrial Revolution, that seismic cultural shift that saw men desert home, farm, shop, and guild for a factory wage, thus resulting in "a radical separation of fathers and sons." It is commonly accepted now, he says, that "the basis of development of a secure masculine identity comes from a positive father / son relationship." This development is further bolstered by healthy relationships in peer groups, and between boys and male mentors, such as coaches and teachers.
Another cause of the erosion of masculine identity is the current epidemic of family breakdown; a 50-per-cent divorce rate means, in practical terms, that many boys will grow up without a father consistently present in the home. Lacking this primary relationship, boys will, depending on their socio-economic class, either "gather together among themselves" and develop a reactive distortion of masculinity that exults violence, or turn into "wimpy, indecisive" young men.
Dr. Mango is currently developing an organization called Warrior Brothers, and is basing his endeavors on his 30-years experience as a Catholic psychotherapist, on the teachings of the late John Paul II, and the evidence of neuroscience of the differences between the sexes. "Men and women live in totally different universes," he says; it is through love that their innate complementarity finds fulfillment.
While the primary desire of women is to "to love and be loved, to find intimacy with others," the primary desire of men is to "love and be loved through initiation and action." Men and women are physiologically programmed to be this way. Human masculinity represents the fatherhood of God, who "actively initiates" and who "continues to sustain with love and power." The essence of masculinity is "to act, to do, in a sacrificial giving." From fathers and other male mentors boys learn "the spirit of courage, the spirit of self-sacrifice, for the sake of love."
In his Theology of the Body, John Paul II referred to archetypes, which are, as Dr. Mango elaborated, "universal" types we hold in our "collective unconscious" and which are revealed to us in dreams, literature, myths and stories. Four archetypes form "the natural psychological basis of masculinity" but, because of original sin, and disordered conditioning in the home, both passive and active distortions of these archetypes are in evidence.
The first archetype is the king, "an image put inside men by God the Father," Dr. Mango asserts. The king "creates order in the family, the church, and society;" he encourages and blesses those under his authority; he is called to "servant leadership." A passive distortion of this archetype is "the weak king" who is confused, diffident, unwilling or unable to lead, and "controlled by the Queen." The active distortion is a masculinity characterized by authoritarianism, harshness, cruelty, control.
The second archetype from which men draw energy is the warrior, who is ready and willing to "defend and protect" not only himself, but those who are dependent on him or weaker than he, to protect them "physically, psychologically, spiritually and economically," Dr. Mango says. The warrior fights "for the honour of God . . . without fear or hatred of the enemy." A passive distortion of this archetype is the fearful or cowardly man, unable or unwilling to protect his family or his faith; active distortion is the quality of a man who is verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children. Another manifestation is the Catholic who claims to be fighting for his Church but "hates everybody."
The third archetype is the lover. Dr. Mango relies particularly on John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility for wise pastoral direction regarding spousal love. The lover is "not sentimental" but his love is "from the heart;" such a man makes an effort to "be there for his wife", to listen to her; he is quick to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. Yet he does not allow his wife to manipulate him nor does he try to control her. A passive distortion of this archetype is a man who is remote, undemonstrative, or impotent. The active distortion is a man obsessed with sex, with pornography, who is promiscuous when single, adulterous when married, and enslaved to lust. This particular perversion of masculinity "is an international disease right now."
The last archetype is the wise guide or counselor, a man who has, and is able to convey, spiritual knowledge. The active distortion of the archetype is a man who gives false advice, speaks half-truths, or who propagates evil or erroneous ideologies. The passive distortion is a man who claims ignorance, has nothing to say, refuses to guide, or forsakes his obligations as spiritual head of the family.
Dr. Mango regards these archetypes as "the foundation for the ultimate masculine identity of priest, prophet, and king in identification with Christ." His intent in founding Warrior Brothers, which he describes as "an alliance, a movement, a community of brothers," is to provide one means by which to restore masculinity, because it is his conviction that "marriage, family, society, and the Church will be strong, and thrive, to the degree that they have masculine men on a mission." His Brotherhood encourages men to reject the "hectic, driven, agitated existence" and its attendant "slavery to TV, computers and telephones" and to put God and family before all. Men are called to action, to servant-leadership, and to self-sacrificial love, and his is an attempt to recapture the true essence of masculinity in a culture increasingly confused about, and hostile to, such ideals.
Lianne Laurence spoke with Dr. Mango by telephone. Interested readers can visit his website at www.saintmichael.net.
This item 6941 digitally provided courtesy of CatholicCulture.org
