Action Alert!

cool your jets

By Diogenes (articles ) | Jun 03, 2010

Good morning! This is Acme Air Charters. How can I help you?

[We cannot hear the other party to the phone call]

Oh, yes! I've just been reading the headlines


Of course, sir. That plane is prepared; we're ready to fly on 15 minutes' notice. You have your own helicopter ready to get you to the airport, right? 


Yes, I can confirm that. Our records show that you wanted a one-way flight, LAX to Fiumicino. 


You won't be needing that flight reserved any longer? 


Yes, I understand. You'd still like to have the charter flight available, but not necessarily on an urgent-standby basis. We could guarantee a flight that would be available to you within 12 hours; would that fit your needs?


Naturally. The price of reserving that flight would be much lower than the monthly rate you've been paying. Not that cost should matter to a big spender like you, ha ha! 


No. Sorry. Not at all. Not a wise guy. Just trying to ... never mind. I apologize. Let me assure you, you've been one of my best customers; I wouldn't want to offend you.


Right. OK. We appreciate your business. We'll put you down for 12 hours' notice, LAX to Fiumicino. You're still interested in just a one-way charter? Not planning a return flight?


Yes, I understand. I love Rome myself. I'm sure you don't need my advice, but if you do go, I hope you'll be able to visit the basilica of St. Mary Major. I think you'd like it there.



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  • Posted by: Gil125 - Jun. 03, 2010 9:45 PM ET USA

    The archpriest of Sta. Maria Maggiore ought to have a spare bedroom in his palazzo right across the street. And should be a fitting companion to his brother Cardinal.