goodbye cruel world

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Jan 26, 2007

Let's see, this is Bishop Gumbleton's .... twelfth? ... fourteenth? final exit from the world stage? It's easy to lose count. He's been in the martyrdom business for most of the last decade. In fact, he's made something of a speciality of the post-execution interview: rare in the case of the firing squad, rarer still in the case of the victim.

"I'm sure it's because of the openness with which I spoke out last January concerning victims of sex abuse in the church. So we're all suffering the consequences of that, and yet, I don't regret doing what I did because I still think it was the right thing to do," he said, as the congregation rose and erupted in applause.

Quite a guy. He'll speak truth to power even if it puts him at risk of -- [younger readers should avert their eyes here] -- getting written up in the New York Times.

Gumbleton is no slouch when it comes to letting the media's left hand know what his own right hand is doing. As we've noticed before, he has a remarkable knack for the serendipitous convergence of private demonstrations of sanctity with the presence of curious journalists. No refractory lens-cap, it would seem, has had the insolence to obstruct our view of his humility in action. We can anticipate that this latest retirement will plunge him into wonted obscurity, at the end of which his obituary will read: "Famed for Clandestine Almsgiving."

P.S. Not a word of this to anyone.

Gumbleton inculturates the Roman Rite for the benefit of Guatemalan cane workers and their yearbook photographer.