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pranksters

By Diogenes (articles ) | Nov 18, 2004

Showing that -- in spite of the hardships of the past two years -- they haven't lost their sense of humor, the U.S. bishops have come up with an inspired practical joke called a sex abuse self-audit. You read that right. The USCCB decided to replace the independent investigators that actually visited dioceses with a self-reporting system in which dioceses fill out questionnaires. (Q 43: Is the diocesan ordinary being blackmailed by that Filipino busboy he vacationed with in 1984? Always. Often. Sometimes. Seldom. Never.) Imagine the difficulty Bishop Malone had in keeping a straight face while making his intervention:

Bishop Richard Malone, of Portland, Maine, added a caution. "I don't believe in every case we have enough distance from the crisis to be confident that our credibility is adequately restored for self-reporting to be accepted as trustworthy, at least generally," Malone said.

And you thought ironic understatement was perfected by the Brits. The bishops must have wet themselves laughing.

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Show 4 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: - Nov. 24, 2004 12:08 AM ET USA

    The first time I read that, for some reason, it looked like "self-abuse sex audit." How scary is that?

  • Posted by: - Nov. 19, 2004 11:02 AM ET USA

    In answer to orthodoxy's comment: I agree it would be great if the Bishops could marry, But I just hate to see a guy leading a Bishop by the nose with the Bishop crying, "Yes, dear, yes, dear..."

  • Posted by: - Nov. 18, 2004 10:57 PM ET USA

    But I feel for those few but loyal and holy bishops who are swimming upstream against the flood tide of the rabble.

  • Posted by: - Nov. 18, 2004 8:10 PM ET USA

    I sure dig that guy Diogenes! Looks like the Holy Bishops are out again. Here come the modernists. I almost wish the Bishops could marry. It would be fantastic to see them being led by the nose crying, "Yes, dear, yes, dear..." Any idea what the conference bar bill was? Did they pay seperately for the $9.95 movies?

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