An editorial for the (comic) archives

By Phil Lawler ( bio - articles - email ) | Jun 20, 2012

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review has a short editorial about what it sees as a “larger, overarching crisis” in the Catholic Church.

There’s the Vatileaks mess, and some people think that’s a major scandal. Then the president of the Vatican bank was ousted.

That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? You think that’s enough to rattle the Vatican, which has withstood wars and plagues and heresies and revolts and corruption and neglect and crime and persecution for 2000 years?

But wait. To be fair, the Tribune-Review has more to say:

And there’s Benedict, 85, the oldest pope in 109 years. He’s finding if increasingly difficult to speak, walk — and, insiders say, lead.

Yes, he has trouble walking. Bad knees. But difficulty speaking? That’s pure fiction.

So, having exposed their ignorance about both Roman history and current Vatican affairs, the editors reach their conclusion:

If Pope Benedict’s successor similarly fails to lead and to reform the Vatican, scandals will continue to plague Roman Catholicism and the church surely will implode.

Thanks for your concern, folks, but the Catholic Church will survive this “crisis,” too. I just hope this silly editorial finds its way into the Vatican archives, so that sometime a few centuries from now, prelates can pull it out, enjoy a chuckle or two, and ask each other, “How long ago was it that the Tribune-Review imploded?”