the stimulus package explained

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Feb 10, 2009

 Please authorize me to spend a bajillion dollars. 

We don't have that kind of money in the treasury, of course, but don't worry about it. We'll leave a big stack of IOUs; the taxpayers can settle up later. The important thing is to inspire confidence in the health of the economy.

Don't ask where I'm going to spend the money. I'm not sure. Don't ask whether it's going to work. I'm not sure. These are details. The important thing is to inspire confidence in the health of the economy.

The economy is terrible awful horrible bad. Worse than you can imagine. Toxic. Can't get better by itself. The important thing is to inspire confidence in the health of the economy.

Don't delay. I need the money right now. Right now! Because if I don't get the money right now the sky's going to fall in.

The important thing-- did I mention this?-- is to inspire confidence in the health of the economy.