ots dashback: 4-17-04 -- ain't love grand?

By Diogenes (articles ) | Mar 29, 2008

Last month OTR made the half-serious suggestion that nothing in the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court's same-sex marriage decision prevents two cellmates from being joined in holy matrimony and in the privileges thereunto appertaining. Now the other half of the seriousness has made its appearance:

MONTGOMERY, Ala. Two male inmates at Fountain prison near Atmore have sued the state in hopes of getting married, despite a prohibition in state law and no precedent for a married couple behind bars.

The inmates, Darius Chambers and Jonathan Jones, acted as their own attorney in the suit. They argue that the state law banning same-sex marriages violates their constitutional rights of due process and free speech. "This court must not allow the alleged sexual morals of a society filled with bias to be the scales of balance," they wrote in their five-page lawsuit.

More disconcerting is the legal precariousness of the state's rejoinder:

In response, Attorney General Troy King's staff argued that nothing in the federal constitution requires states to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

I read the AG to mean that, lacking a statute legitimizing same-sex unions, Alabama happens (for now) to be exempt from the requirement to issue licenses for the same. In other words, it's only a matter of time before the exemption is forfeit. One can imagine all too well the account of the inevitable wedding in the "Vows" section of the Sunday New York Times:

"Pansies and Passionflowers" provided the theme for the nuptials of Darius Chambers and Jonathan Jones, who exchanged vows last Saturday in a intimate "at home" ceremony at their residence near Atmore. The Rev'd 66074-82, S.J., who resides with Chambers and Jones and whose full name may not be disclosed for reasons of personal protection, officiated.

The groom wore an orange V-neck cotton-polyester jumpsuit with a velcro waistband and carried a bouquet of flowers fashioned from lavender Kleenex. So did the groom. The maiden-of-honour, Mr. Rasheed "Kand E Katt" Slocum, also of Atmore, sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" and an aria of his own composition,"Nose 2 de Flo," as the couple lit candles from his Bic and, in a traditional exchange of affection, each carved his initials in the other's forearm with a fork.

Father 66074-82 spoke of the meaning and beauty of sacramental love, of the challenges of commitment, and of Alabama's pending legislation to lower the age of consent. The couple intends to honeymoon locally.

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  • Posted by: - Apr. 02, 2008 5:13 PM ET USA

    I had been about to make a donation to Trinity Communications the other night when this choice bit of satire reminded me of the bad taste left by more than a few of Uncle Di's swipes at gay activists' antics. Di, you've got CCC 2357 (under no circumstances can homosexual acts be approved) down cold, and God bless you for that, but please, if you're indeed trying to show "respect, compassion, and sensitivity" (CCC 2358) toward men who've been belittled as "pansies," I don't think it's working.