tiny tears

By Diogenes (articles ) | Aug 17, 2007

Breda Bishop Martinus "Tiny" Muskens has added another 40 seconds toward his longed-for fifteen minutes of fame with his darling declaration that Catholics should call God "Allah." OK, it's true that Allah is the Arabic common noun for God, used by Arab-speaking Christians without the slightest indication of invoking a Muslim deity, so we can give him the benefit of the doubt -- doctrinally.

His Grace is also on record as saying the hungry can steal bread to feed themselves. Again, with the right conditions in place, that's perfectly kosher Catholic teaching. He's gets a pass on that one too.

The same Martinus "Tiny" Muskens thinks popes should have term limits of 10-15 years. So did his theological mentor Harold "Pee Wee" Reese. Neither is heterodox in virtue of this opinion, though the former has obviously passed his "best before" date and might profit the larger Church -- and give her an edifying and instructive example of sincerity -- by awarding himself a spontaneous term limit. Soon.

But finally, according to this AP story, Muskens has also "supported the use of condoms as a way of reining in the spread of AIDS." Now the alarms go off. When a churchman is keen to turn the male reproductive organ into a non-reproductive organ, you can be pretty sure he's got serious control problems with his breaking ball. Moreover, he's in heresy.

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  • Posted by: - Aug. 20, 2007 2:15 PM ET USA

    How long will it be before the bishop offers his resignation? It is long overdue! Maybe there is need of him in antartica.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 18, 2007 4:04 PM ET USA

    At the risk of seeming uncharitable, I have to add that the scarf looks like a relic from a clown mass. Seriously, we need to pray for our bishops . . . all of them. They are successors of the apostles even when they entertain silly ideas.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 17, 2007 4:35 PM ET USA

    Perhaps it's all those tulips in Holland that have affected his Excellency's sense of the orthodox. We know that with new horticultural techniques, tulips now come in an array of previously unimaginable colors and shades of pink, purple, lavender, etc., enough to possibly make any overly sensitive prelate forget just what the Church teaches regarding sexuality. Perhaps a change of climate and vegetation, say on a small desert island, might benefit his Excellency. Far from the madding crowd.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 17, 2007 1:44 PM ET USA

    How can anyone take him seriously with a scarf like that? What are we saying here, "Raindrops keep falling on my head" or "I'm all wet" - ? Uncle Di, might we conclude from the utter absurdity of this picture and of his equally absurd statements that said bishop might just be senile?

  • Posted by: - Aug. 17, 2007 1:19 PM ET USA

    Where is the Vatican, and why doesn't the Holy Father take action? Isn't this the very definition of "causing scandal"?

  • Posted by: - Aug. 17, 2007 12:20 PM ET USA

    Well, you know what Voltaire would say if he were still alive... "Those who wear fashion absurdities are destined to commit theological atrocities."

  • Posted by: - Aug. 17, 2007 9:47 AM ET USA

    Nice tie.