pranksters

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Nov 18, 2004

Showing that -- in spite of the hardships of the past two years -- they haven't lost their sense of humor, the U.S. bishops have come up with an inspired practical joke called a sex abuse self-audit. You read that right. The USCCB decided to replace the independent investigators that actually visited dioceses with a self-reporting system in which dioceses fill out questionnaires. (Q 43: Is the diocesan ordinary being blackmailed by that Filipino busboy he vacationed with in 1984? Always. Often. Sometimes. Seldom. Never.) Imagine the difficulty Bishop Malone had in keeping a straight face while making his intervention:

Bishop Richard Malone, of Portland, Maine, added a caution. "I don't believe in every case we have enough distance from the crisis to be confident that our credibility is adequately restored for self-reporting to be accepted as trustworthy, at least generally," Malone said.

And you thought ironic understatement was perfected by the Brits. The bishops must have wet themselves laughing.