What if...

By Domenico Bettinelli, Jr. ( articles - email ) | Apr 03, 2003

Listening to the denial of reality in the press conferences of the Iraqi information minister (not unlike the press conferences of some US bishops), I was struck with wondering what a similar press conference would sound like, perhaps the press conference of Sauron's information minister after the fall of Barad-dur. (For you non-Tolkien fans, it's a reference to The Lord of the Rings.)

Announcer: And here comes the Mordor Information Minister now. Let's hear what he has to say.

M.I.M.: It is awonderful day for all Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings. We are victorious on all fronts and we are turning back the enemy, grinding their bones into dust, eating their flesh, rending them limb from limb!!! ... Sorry, I just get so excited. As I was saying, we are winning the war on all fronts.

Reporter: What about reports that Sauron hasn't been seen since the hobbits threw the One Ring into the fire?

M.I.M.: Ridiculous. We have read you statements from him and even shown you slaves personally tortured by him over the past several days. Don't believe the lies of those accursed Elves.

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