By Diogenes (articles ) | Apr 27, 2009
Are you free May 17? Not easily embarrassed? Interesting in receiving an award from a major Catholic university?
If you meet these qualifications, send your resume and a photo portrait to Father Jenkins at Notre Dame. And hurry. He's searching feverishly for someone to accept the Laetare Medal that Mary Ann Glendon has declined.
The recipient of Notre Dame's highest honor is traditionally announced on Laetare Sunday-- thus the name of the award. This year's fill-in recipient will be announced just "as soon as possible." The manager's on the phone to the bullpen, asking whether anyone's warmed out and ready to go. Nobody is. So this is your big chance.
Oh, there's one more qualification: You have to be capable of delivering a speech that won't cause embarrassment to President Obama or his hosts. It might help, too, if you know all the words to the song: "Everyone knows that I'm just second-hand Rose..."
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