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elementary genetics

By Diogenes (articles ) | Jul 16, 2006

What happens when you combine a blue-eyed gene with a brown-eyed gene? You get brown eyes.

What happens when you combine a "gay wedding" with a "Catholic wedding?"

The thing is, when you put “Catholic” and “gay wedding” together, you come out with one inevitable conclusion: an extravaganza of rituals.

Extravaganza, yes. But whatever else you might call it, it certainly isn't a Catholic wedding.

Michael and Randy said this communion was for everyone, that it could mean whatever we wanted it to, and after all it was challah. So I stood in line, dunked my bread in the cider, and was generously showered with a Jesus-free blessing by a minister friend.

Please help me nip a rumor in the bud. There is no truth to the report that Uncle Di wrote the breathless description of an ex-Jesuit/ex-Benedictine ménage in today's New York Times style section. But I look at a sentence like this, and I realize that every parodist is living on borrowed time:

Together, we all marched onward and outward to bright sunlight and chicken breasts in apricot sauce: the gay Catholics, the nominally straight Jews, the Midwestern families who had traveled long distances in more ways than one, the whole motley collection of pagans, ex-priests, Buddhists, actors and singers, each of whom had absorbed the ceremony in their way.

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Show 14 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: Sterling - Jul. 19, 2006 6:58 PM ET USA

    Cantor Rich, they would never wear white after Labor Day. Even in gay cowboy movies where the good guys still wear white, they won't wear it after Labor Day. Hey, give credit where credit is due, I always say.

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jul. 18, 2006 10:37 AM ET USA

    That's the love song of J. Alfred Defrock

  • Posted by: - Jul. 18, 2006 8:29 AM ET USA

    Isn't that last paragraph a quote from 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'?

  • Posted by: Cantor Rich - Jul. 18, 2006 1:39 AM ET USA

    At least they didn't wear white AFTER Labour Day.

  • Posted by: Ross Dee - Jul. 17, 2006 3:11 PM ET USA

    There is nothing Catholic about these people. Super Catholics? Right! They are all insane and dysfunctional, except for the childern under seven. However, living in the same households, it won't be long they will also be insane. Just look at the examples the children have. The one attending this ridicules event and writing about it is obviously out-of-touch with reality. However, the writer is right about them all marching onward and outward, but their destination is the "Twilight Zone".

  • Posted by: rpp - Jul. 17, 2006 12:46 PM ET USA

    The only real benefit I see to this is that at least they are taking themselves out of the gene pool.

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jul. 17, 2006 12:22 PM ET USA

    "the nominally straight Jews" Norman Podhoertz: "Let me get this straight, you're Jewish and writing a book about musicals, but you're not gay?" Mark Steyn: "That's right."

  • Posted by: parochus - Jul. 17, 2006 10:24 AM ET USA

    Di, If you had written that as parody, you would have lost credibility for being too "over the top."

  • Posted by: - Jul. 17, 2006 8:31 AM ET USA

    One question: WWJD? At such an event, that is.

  • Posted by: Eleazar - Jul. 17, 2006 7:37 AM ET USA

    Too bad the most respect for God that any of them could conjure was the author's "vague fear" that she might be "struck by a lightening bolt." A little fire & brimstone would have been more impressive, and, if well aimed, more effective.

  • Posted by: - Jul. 16, 2006 11:09 PM ET USA

    Oh Uncle Di is giving us a special Lord's Day spoof. Very funny...... until I clicked the link.....the actual article in the NYT is more outlandish than your reporting. The author of this personal experience piece has taught workshops at Esalen Institute (think left over hippies) AND Holy Names Univ (in Oakland near Bezerkley)- nuff said. Why am I not surprised?

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jul. 16, 2006 10:21 PM ET USA

    Uncle Di, Next thing I know you will be telling me that they served Merlot. With a lamb entree. In our cities. In Canada.

  • Posted by: Venerable Aussie - Jul. 16, 2006 8:11 PM ET USA

    Look Uncle Di, it's breakfast time Down Under when I get to read this. What a way to start a new week! I have 2 questions: 1. What sort of ceremony do you have when there is no shared understanding of the meaning of the rituals? (interestingly, while everyone may be making up their own reality, there is surely no misunderstanding of the absolute sleight to Marriage and Family in the biblical tradition.) and more importantly 2. How many ex-confrere-buddies showed up?

  • Posted by: Sterling - Jul. 16, 2006 7:35 PM ET USA

    What;s with these people? Don't they know that apricot sauce on chicken is passe?

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