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By Diogenes (articles ) | May 18, 2006

Just in time for that summer ordinand on your gift list, the Talking Jesus Plush Doll is now available. I can't bring myself to listen to the real specimens, but I've heard enough from the Gather Hymnal to hazard a guess or two:

  • "My church is a church of love, not law." (Matt 5:18)
  • "Thank you for sharing." (Matt 25:41)
  • "Go with your heart." (John 8:44)
  • "I'm least myself when I'm about excluding others." (Luke 3:7)
  • "My dream for you is one of acceptance." (John 13:27)
  • "Capricorn, and E-N-F-P. But tell me about yourself." (John 18:37)
  • "Deep down, I'm me." (Luke 18:8)
  • "You've challenged me to grow." (Mark 7:26)
  • Go ahead. Gift us with the fruits of your own favorite homilies. They might make it into the repertory of the Midwinter Holiday Model.

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    Show 9 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
    • Posted by: benedictusoblatus - May. 19, 2006 11:21 AM ET USA

      A good and pious Catholic would sooner vomit than sing much of the "sacred" music used in "liturgical spaces" frequented by modern Catholics today. In many ways King Henry VIII was a better Catholic (and musician) than many liturgical experts tasked with leading the stupified faithful by the nose to who knows what end. Very sad indeed!

    • Posted by: Gil125 - May. 18, 2006 3:14 PM ET USA

      "God loves you just the way you are." - Matthew 18, 8-9

    • Posted by: Moneo - May. 18, 2006 2:20 PM ET USA

      Had the iconoclasts had a crystal ball and the ability to see into the future, I think that heresy might have carried the day. And, after visiting the website, I'm tempted to say that it should have...

    • Posted by: Gino - May. 18, 2006 1:20 PM ET USA

      Maybe next year's dolls could say; abortion is murder, there is a hell, the Ten Commandments really mean what they say, the Pope actually is the head of the Church etc. Dream on; it will never happen.

    • Posted by: NonSumDignus - May. 18, 2006 12:38 PM ET USA

      I, too, am not a fan of "Gather" which is in our pews at DC's St. Matthew's Cathedral in addition to "Worship" and a Spanish language hymnal. All you need to do is read the introduction to the "liturgy" in Gather to understand the bias. Hint: you won't find the word sacrifice anywhere.

    • Posted by: Coemgen - May. 18, 2006 12:21 PM ET USA

      I was starting to worry that it was just me that thought the Gather Hymnal was squishy. Those books seem to be all over the place in the Arch. of St. Paul - must have been a heck of a sale.

    • Posted by: parochus - May. 18, 2006 12:09 PM ET USA

      "Can't we all just get along?" (Luke 12:51) "We're a rainbow church." (Luke 17:29-30) "Be a good person, like Gandhi and Buddha and Thomas Merton." (John 14:6)

    • Posted by: - May. 18, 2006 11:37 AM ET USA

      Bad grammar! "Gift" is a noun, not a verb. The correct usage is "Give us the fruits of your own favorite homilies." This is just as bad as using "birth" as a verb (e.g., she was about to birth her child vs. she was about to bear her child). Why is our society so passionately committed to butchering the English language?

    • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - May. 18, 2006 11:18 AM ET USA

      "Being in receipt of the necessary information from the Secretariate of State, this Press Office is in a position to (in grado di) make it clear that the information disseminated this morning by the newspapers concerning an ecclesiastic working at the Vatican is wholly without foundation." Sincerely, "CB"

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