united we stand corrected

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Mar 29, 2006

St. Paul, Minnesota, removed an Easter display from City Hall in response to a complaint filed by the city's human rights director Tyrone Terrill. The WSJ's James Taranto comments:

Well, this certainly makes sense. After all, everyone knows the Easter Bunny is a Christian symbol, which has no place in the public square in St. Paul, a city named after -- uh, we've forgotten. Does anyone know where St. Paul got its name?

Good question. And while we're on the subject of historical amnesia, ever look at the United Airlines departures screen at an airport and catch yourself chanting the list as you read?

Santa Ana,
San Antonio,
Saint Augustine,
Santa Barbara,
Saint Charles,
San Diego,
San Francisco,
San Jose,
Saint Louis ...

You get the point. If you're not careful you end up singing Ora pro nobis after every destination until you get to Stamford, at which point you switch to Libera nos, Domine. I suppose someone so zealous in the safeguarding of our human rights as Mr. Terrill might initiate causes for de-canonization so as to return these cities, and their namesakes, to the Church Militant: Ana, Antonio, Barbara, Joseph, etc. Don't you feel a huge weight of sectarian oppression lifted off your chest? ("I left my heart in Frank," croons Tony Bennett. "Meet me in Louie Louie," warbles Bill Clinton.)

But Christian influence, alas, is not always so blatant or so easily remedied. We have to stretch a bit to find safely secular equivalents in some cases. Sacramento could be corrected to Sharing, I suppose, and Des Moines to De Backstreet Boys. Los Angeles might become Los Angulos. Even the Protestants, albeit more bashfully, got into the name game in the 17th century, and yet we've got to scrub the public square equilaterally clean. That means a change to Prudential Forethought, Rhode Island.

Despite our best efforts a few stubborn christianisms will remain intractable. What do we do with a name like Santa Fe? "Holy Faith" expresses what to the secularist mind can only be a contradiction in terms, and will become even more offensive as America's percentage of Spanish speakers increases. With liberty and justice for all, the only cure for Santa Fe is to nuke it. Human rights are a lovesome thing, God wot.