heads they win, tails we lose

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Oct 07, 2005

John Allen is now reporting that a Vatican official told him the Doomsday Doc will not, as earlier suggested, ban all homosexual candidates from the seminary, but only those who use the wrong fork for their salad.

OK, what his source actually said is that the text would exclude gays who "have not demonstrated a capacity to live celibate lives for at least three years" -- (verified how? by checking with the candidate's laundress?) -- but it amounts to the same thing: business as usual.

The issuance of the Instruction could hardly be expected to change Church practice. However it's worded, after all, it will be implemented by bishops who -- with impunity -- rub down triathletes for fun.

If Allen's source is right about the Three Year Plan, we'll be considerably worse off than we were before. Inasmuch as the earlier instructions made no provision for exceptions, this latest doc will be trumpeted in the media as a Vatican about-face: "For the first time in history, the Catholic Church has admitted that gay men are fit to be priests, provided etc., etc."

The bottom line? No document will fix the problem, because the problem is the people.