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 Off the Record

epitaphs not considered

By Diogenes (articles ) | June 22, 2005 8:44 AM

The following sentences are not found on the tombstone of St. John Fisher, whose feast we celebrate today:

I invite readers to contribute other unsuitable epitaphs.

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Show 17 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: - Jun. 28, 2005 10:53 AM ET USA

    Here's one suitable for alot of priests, but NOT St. John Fisher: www.snopes.com/photos/grave.asp

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jun. 26, 2005 10:29 PM ET USA

    "Its all about the CHILDREN!!"

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jun. 26, 2005 10:29 PM ET USA

    Regularly prayed to Our Lady Of the Resplendent Cufflinks.

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jun. 26, 2005 12:17 PM ET USA

    Never convicted.

  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Jun. 25, 2005 11:18 AM ET USA

    He always shanks his par 3 shots to the left.

  • Posted by: Janet Baker - Jun. 24, 2005 8:59 PM ET USA

    How about: He was "tolerant" and "moderate" in his beliefs.

  • Posted by: - Jun. 24, 2005 5:09 PM ET USA

    "Here lies John Fisher: born a man, died a priest removed from active ministry. South Miami Beach."

  • Posted by: - Jun. 24, 2005 1:00 PM ET USA

    "He enjoyed a good relationship with the secular leaders"

  • Posted by: - Jun. 23, 2005 9:25 PM ET USA

    "He enjoyed a good relationship with the secular leaders"

  • Posted by: Fr. William - Jun. 23, 2005 8:45 PM ET USA

    (1) He always met brother bishops in the most expensive hotel in town (an requested limousine service, of course). (2) He was enlightened. (3) He never let his country club membership expire. (4) He was a guarantor of diversity.

  • Posted by: Novus744 - Jun. 23, 2005 2:54 PM ET USA

    He never forced his religion on anyone else by saying that anything is morally wrong.

  • Posted by: Venerable Aussie - Jun. 23, 2005 10:52 AM ET USA

    Here lies the body of John Fisher. He held his head high against Roman centralism, stood in solidarity with the local church, refused to kow-tow to unimaginative, out-of-touch, and authoritarian papal demands. Truly.. [it's actually a fairly big tombstone] Truly, a "thinking Catholic", a monumental player in a London v Rome "Tale of 2 Cities". [underneath someone's scrawled some fresh graffiti - looks like "LAX v DEN". Must be Latin.]

  • Posted by: frjimc - Jun. 23, 2005 8:32 AM ET USA

    "He respected the complexity and nuance of church-state relations, and refused to give in to pressure to focus on single issues."

  • Posted by: frjimc - Jun. 23, 2005 8:29 AM ET USA

    "He was a wounded healer."

  • Posted by: parochus - Jun. 23, 2005 4:28 AM ET USA

    He was tolerant and believed in trying to find "common ground," especially with regard to Eucharistic hospitality. http://www.saintpatrickdc.org/ss/0622.htm#john

  • Posted by: - Jun. 22, 2005 10:32 AM ET USA

    He promoted diversity in his diocese, that is, homosexuality.

  • Posted by: patriot6908 - Jun. 22, 2005 9:07 AM ET USA

    Always impeccably dressed and manicured.

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