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Job Interview: Opening for Diocesan Director of Public Relations

By Diogenes (bio - articles ) | Jan 20, 2005

Personnel. OK, Mister .... Sahheed, is it? Let me give you a hypothetical and ask how you'd respond. The diocesan chancellor is found late one night by the cops. He's been beaten to a jelly by a couple juveniles, and the park in which they find him is notorious as a gay cruising spot. You've got the Action News Team camped outside the bishop's office and he's short-listed for Louisville if you can keep his name out of the story. How do you handle it?

Candidate. Lemme see ... Monsignor was in the park playing a pick-up game with a bunch of teenagers (including his assailants), which was itself inappropriate, given his age and history of phlebitis.

There were runners on first and third, one out. The batter grounds to Monsignor at short. Instead of looking the runner back to third and then turning to throw to second, Monsignor, VERY inappropriately, fired to first. It was dark (being late), and the throw was short, taking a high hop past the first baseman, inappropriately, resulting in two runs scored and a man on second. Understandably, two of his younger and more impetuous teammates went berserk and punched the stuffing out of him.

Um ... um ... He is now focusing on his physical recovery, especially sidearm tosses to his left, and working on defensive awareness. We can expect him to resume pastoral duties in six months.

Well ...? Do I get the job...?

Personnel. Good effort, Mister Sahheed, but you neglected to scold the media for generating a scandal and to deplore the un-Christian pharisaism of a minority of unforgiving diocesan laity. I think you should seek employment better suited to your talents -- elsewhere.


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  • Posted by: - Jan. 21, 2005 10:21 AM ET USA

    O fisherman! Pray, tell me, has the Body of Christ not been repeatedly "torn apart" by fellows like this monsignor and his bishop? And ask yourself this: Were it not for the new springtime of VCII, would we even be having this discussion? I think not.

  • Posted by: RC - Jan. 21, 2005 1:28 AM ET USA

    Mr. Sahheed's first mistake was to use the unfortunate term "pick-up".

  • Posted by: fisherman129 - Jan. 20, 2005 7:20 PM ET USA

    o altar boy,,, don't be so vicious - you only tear the Body of Christ apart.

  • Posted by: - Jan. 20, 2005 6:48 PM ET USA

    and they know it was those 2 seminarians because they cursed him in Latin.

  • Posted by: - Jan. 20, 2005 2:53 PM ET USA

    The Monsignor was in the park, a place enriched by a great cultural diversity, looking for the least of God’s children, in hopes that he might inform them of the Lords’ love for them—regardless of their unfortunate circumstances. As the Monsignor was speaking on the wisdom of the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council, and handing out free copies of the GIRM, he was attacked, brutally and without provocation, by two minor seminarians of the SSPX, who hit him repeatedly with their scapulars.

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