Action Alert!

Sign of the times

By Diogenes (articles ) | Aug 12, 2004

You know that it's time to hire a lawyer when you're told you should expect to hear from:

  1. a federal grand jury, which has already questioned several well-known drug dealers from your neighborhood;
  2. a litigious neighbor, who thinks your new fence crosses his property;
  3. the police chief, who has eyewitness reports that someone who looks a lot like you just robbed the convenience store on Elm Street;
  4. a long-lost 4th cousin, who wants a share of the proceeds from the sale of your grandmother's home;
  5. your bishop, who's trying to figure out how to pay the tab run up by the child-molesters in the diocesan clergy.

If you're a pastor in Tucson, Arizona, the advice from your bishop is to choose #5-- without prejudice to the other possibilities, naturally.

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  • Posted by: Psalms - Aug. 12, 2004 7:04 PM ET USA

    In our diocese, if you see the Bishop arrive for a "parish visit" beware if you are; 1) small, 2) have a healthy bank account or even better 3) a profitable farm with good profits that will lead to a land sale to refill the diocesan coffers due to law suits. Lawyers don't help when the out going pastor doesn't know that the parish was sold while he was talking care of it, and he was still being billed by the diocese for insurance.