Action Alert!

a modest proposal

By Fr. Wilson (articles ) | Aug 07, 2004

Here is an inspired idea which I humbly and helpfully submit to Archbishop O'Malley as a fundraiser to possibly offset the closing of the next sixty or seventy parishes in the Archdiocese of Boston.

The nude parish calendar.

This has all kinds of possibilities. A Church of England Vicar is doing one featuring parish ladies (well, women, anyway) to help Rwandan rape victims or something. I picture American dioceses, teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, suddenly coming up with... yes... CHANCERY NUDES: Your [Arch]Diocesan Calendar.

You know how tedious those formal episcopal portraits are, inevitably in front of the diocesan directory. Picture the Ordinary and his auxiliaries, "Messrs January," followed by Sister Sheila and Staff from the Liturgy Office in February, Brother Bruce and secretaries from the Office of Peace and Luuuuv in March, the Cathedral Choir, organist/director of music and Head Woman (minus the alb) for April...

Oh, the possibilities!

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  • Posted by: - Aug. 09, 2004 5:05 PM ET USA

    I suspect that Cardinal Mahony has already thought of this! He is just trying to think of a way to have it tastefully done, but yet profitable.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 09, 2004 12:43 AM ET USA

    This is hilarious. The only problem is ... I wouldn't put it past some of these geniuses to try it.

  • Posted by: - Aug. 08, 2004 12:02 AM ET USA

    Haven't we been abused enough? Can't we just wear horse-hair shirts and beat our heads with heavy books?