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 Off the Record

parody enfeebled by reality

By Diogenes (articles ) | March 30, 2004 6:17 AM

Which headline is for real?

a) MARTHA SHIVS CELLMATE WITH CELERY

b) JUDGE TO KOBE: SIX MONTHS AS POOR CLARE NOVICE

c) BISHOP O'BRIEN SETS UP HELP-LINE

Sorry. Your first two guesses were wrong.

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Show 3 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Mar. 30, 2004 10:17 PM ET USA

    I wonder what he does if someone phones in a request for the sacrament of healing for someone involved in a hit and run? Dialtone, busy signal, or call waiting?

  • Posted by: - Mar. 30, 2004 12:25 PM ET USA

    Might as well have someone else do the 1,000 hours of community service than he, eh? By his reckoning, setting up the help line will count for the requirement. I don't think the court will be impressed.

  • Posted by: - Mar. 30, 2004 10:14 AM ET USA

    Does he get to drive when he goes to help someone?

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