Action Alert!

but who's counting?

By Diogenes (articles ) | Mar 14, 2004

High on last autumn's edification list was the heart-warming story of Cape Cod priest Bernard Kelly, whose sometime handyman and boyfriend Paul Nolin was arrested for murder. It seems that the good padre was financing his non-traditional lifestyle by skimming the collection and juggling the parish books. Last November's civil court complaint filed by the diocese claimed the parish might be missing $50,000. An audit of the church's record now shows the amount pilfered by Kelly could reach $800,000.

Initial conclusions in a church audit show the exact loss will "far exceed" that [$50,000] amount, according to Fall River Diocese spokesman John Kearns.

One wonders whether the diocese's estimate of the extent of Kelly's sexual recreations is equally accurate.

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  • Posted by: - Mar. 15, 2004 3:51 PM ET USA

    One is driven to ask that if a similar independent audit had been performed on the Santa Rosa diocese under the Ziemann administration, what 'juggling of the books' might have been found? The $800,000 in Cape Cod might be seen as a drop in the collection basket by comparison...

  • Posted by: shrink - Mar. 15, 2004 6:52 AM ET USA

    This is evidently a problem of the New Math. All of the reports that I have seen on embezzlement from the parish coffers have linked the theft to sex. And all of the reports that I have seen on clergy sex have reported that the perps have multiple partners. Surely there is a connection. These poor, ill-educated clergy, and the bishops who supervise them have been victimized by their math training. They can no longer count well nor reliably their money or their partners.